Merry Christmas: DJ's Christmas Chili

Okay, no games today -- I'll save the Arkadian Warriors review for later this week.

It's Christmas Eve, and tradition in my family says we have Chili either tonight or on Christmas day. This year, everyone is coming over to my house for a relaxed time of playing games and chowing down on chili.

I just made two pots of my special Christmas recipe chili. This is a sweet, aromatic chili -- a little different from your typical cook-off fare. But I like it -- it has a Yuletide air about it.

DJ's Christmas Chili
Serves: 20

• A half-handful each of Serrano, Poblano & Jalapeño chillies -- this will vary according to taste and the strength of the peppers.
• 1 orange bell pepper (you can substitute green -- I just like the color)
• (optional) 2 Habañero chillies (orange, not Red Savina, unless you are feeling sadistic)
• 1 lb. pork sausage
• 1 lb. ground pork (for a slightly stronger taste, substitute with another pound of sausage)
• 4 lbs. ground beef
• 1½ lbs. stew beef (re-cubed smaller) or teriaki strips (split smaller)
• 1 - 14½ oz. can diced tomatoes (you can use crushed, but diced is better)
• 2 - 1lb 13 oz. cans tomato sauce
• 2 - 15 oz. cans pinto beans
• 3 - 16 oz. cans kidney beans
• ½ lb honey (you can double this for mild honies like orange blossom -- NOT clover!)
• 3 oz. mild molasses (unsulfered)
• 1 cup mid-western-style BBQ sauce (molasses base, not vinegar. I use KC Masterpiece)
• 2 Tb. salt
• 1 Tb. chili powder
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 Tb. red curry
• 1 Tb. Chinese 5 spice (you can substitue cinnamon, but I prefer 5 spice, which includes hint of cinnamon, in this recipe)
• 1 Tb. paprika
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 2 Tb. black ground pepper
• 1 or 2 Tb. minced garlic (3-7 cloves)
• 2 Tb. unsweetened cocoa
• (optional) 1 cup unsifted masa flour (corn flour -- look in the ethnic foods section. NOT corn starch or corn meal!)

Take all your peppers & chillies, wash them and place them on your outdoor grill for roasting, stems and all. Peel the onion, cut it in half and put it on the grill as well. About 20-30 minutes -- you want the outside of the chillies to be blackened!

Pan brown all of your meat. It is extremely important, especially with the ground beef, that you thoroughly drain off the fat once you've browned the meat. That excess fat is what gives people heartburn, not the chillies.

Dump all the browned and drained meat in a large soup pot. Add the tomatoes and two large cans of water. Turn up your stove fire to high -- you want to get things boiling, not violently, but nicely boiling.

Add the beans, honey, molasses, BBQ sauce and spices. Also add the cocoa -- this is used not so much for taste as to bind any stray fat to the meat. (Old chili cook-off trick!)

Pull your chillies and onions off of the grill. Chop the onions -- a chopper here will help, since the onions will be soft. Pull the stems from your chillies -- they should be very soft, so the stems will pop right out. Mince all of your chillies (seeds* and all) using a food processor or fine chopper. Dump all of it into your pot.

Turn the fire down to a simmer for two hours.

You can now add the masa if you want a thick chili -- this stuff will immediately thicken things up as you blend it in, so be sure to have a strong spoon!

That's it -- it's now ready to serve, though I prefer to let it simmer overnight, or cool overnight in the refrigerator.

This is a very different chili, somewhat reminiscent of Indian or Thai food, though still a Texas chili at its heart.

If you are getting an odd after-taste, you probably used a clover honey! Mild honies work much better.

I have considered using coconut milk instead of honey, but have never tried it. If you do, let me know how it turned out!

Hint: If you find that you've over-done it on the chillies, you can rescue your chili by adding another 3 lbs. of ground beef, another can of tomato sauce, another can of diced tomatoes and two more cans of beans (pinto or kidney) -- assuming your pot can hold it all! That should cut the heat while maintaining the overall character of the chili. If you used masa, do not add more masa! You will end up turning the chili into a paste.

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* A common misconception is that the heat of a chili is concentrated in the seeds. It's actually concentrated in the ribbing, where the pepper manufactures capsaicin. The seeds do absorb some capsaicin, but the bulk of it is in the white portion of the ribbed structures inside the chili.

Mystery at Jersey Mike's

Okay, so this post has nothing to do with video games, but it is about a pretty weird little real-life event, so read on...

For lunch today, I decided to go down to Jersey Mike's in Brentwood for a tuna sub. For those of you who've never heard of it, Jersey Mike's is a submarine sandwich chain that serves a good product, is known for impeccable customer services and has a sort of late 1950's East Coast flair. And today was no different -- I got a good sandwich and great service.

But it reminded me of what happened at a different Jersey Mike's about two weeks ago:

It was a Tuesday afternoon and my friend Ray, the V.P. of Development at our company drops by my office and says "Jersey Mike's?"

"Sure!", I say, and off we go in his truck.

On the way there he says "I'm really curious to see what happens when we get there."

"Why is that?" I was intrigued.

"Well I went there last week and the power was out, so they couldn't do business. I went back a couple of days later, and they were out of turkey and wheat bread. Who knows what will happen when we get there today?"

We get to the shop and there are only two employees working there (normally there are 3 to 5.) The back kitchen is dark. We walk up and notice that the meat and cheese cooler seems a little light.

Ray orders first asking "So, how is your inventory today?"

"Oh, we're all stocked up!"

Really... sure doesn't look like it...

Ray then places his order "I'll have a regular roasted turkey on whole wheat with swiss cheese."

"We don't have roasted turkey. Just plain turkey." And the guy says it in a way that would make you think they never had roasted turkey. They always had in the past.

"Okay, make it plain turkey then."

The guy then looks at me.

"I'll have a regular #10 on whole wheat with provolone."

The guy looks at the menu board behind him to see what a #10 is. You've gotta be kidding me! I've never seen anyone who works there not know automatically that a #10 is a tuna sub. But here's the kicker:

The guy says, "Uh, you normally have to, uh, request cheese on that sandwich."

Back up a second... Didn't I just say "I'll have a regular #10 on whole wheat with provolone"? For most people, that would count as some form of requesting cheese on my sandwich, would it not?

I couldn't help but laugh as I said "Then consider that to be a request!"

He pulls out this heal of provolone that couldn't have been more than a quarter inch thick and starts slicing it. It's the last of the provolone in the whole store!

He then grabs an even smaller piece of swiss cheese for Ray's sandwich. Seriously, it was already so thin, there was no need to put it on the slicer. I looked in the cold cabinet, and it, too, was the last of the swiss.

"You want anything on that?"

"Light mayonaise, tomatoes and lots of jalepeño peppers."

The guy looks at me like I just threw the Pope off the steeple of St. Michael's Cathedral and then, after a good five seconds of dumbfounded staring, begins making my sandwich.

Okay, so I get to the cash register and get to deal with the other joker.

"Could you make that a combo with a large drink?"

"We don't have large drinks." Now this guy is saying things like I'm crazy... like they never, ever had large drink cups.

I look down at the cup dispenser and, sure enough, the section of the dispenser that would have had large cups was empty. Well, I know for sure they used to have large cups. Heck, I look over at the menu and they are listed there as well.

"I'll take a regular then."

Now, I go over to the drink station, and three of the six fountain drinks are labeled "Out of Order". Not only are they out of cheese, meat and large cups, they are out of half their fountain drinks as well.

We sat down and Ray was absolutely fuming at the bad service, the lack of stock -- the whole experience.

Me? I'm laughing. I'm figuring this place has been bought out and is a front for laundering drug money or something.

We finished our lunch and got up to leave. Just as we get to the door, two men come in, and one of them says "Hey, this is just what I've been craving all morning..."

Ray and I look at each other, both thinking, "Good luck with that!" and took off.

TGC: Done!

Okay, I couldn't help myself. I was at Best Buy yesterday and was magnetically drawn to the game guides. I did something I've never done before: looked up information in a game guide at the store without buying the guide.

I know, there's a special place in Taiwan for people like me.

So, armed with that information, I went home and finished off the last achievement in The Golden Compass.

I'm done. Fini. No more!

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On to bigger and better things: I'll be working off the remaining achievements in Call of Duty 4 tonight if I can. I know, it sounds like I'm playing for Gamerscore now, but I'm really not. When achievements are done correctly, IMO, they encourage you to play games in ways you wouldn't have before. CoD4's achievements, for the most part, encourage that behavior. So, tonight is for fun, not Gamerscore.

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Speaking of Gamerscore... I passed the 50,000 points mark yesterday, thanks to the final achievement in The Golden Compass. And I'm having a party: "CJ's 50K Bash"

You are all invited. If you are in the Nashville, TN area on December 21, 2007, shoot me an email and you can come by for the fun in person. Otherwise, boot up your Xbox 360, throw in Call of Duty 4, and join in the virtual party. We'll be going from 6PM CST to 1AM. Woo-hoo!

Mea Culpa: No More Golden Compass

Okay, so the absolultely irritating Golden Compass gave me a surprise last night -- I got the Lyra Belacqua Achievement (100G) out of nowhere while replaying the London chapter. It turns out that the game's journal makes you think there are more questions to find than there actually are by showing placeholders for questions that aren't in the game.

ERGHH!!

I was able to find 4 more symbols last night, leaving only 2 more to find:

• Sun (first sense, meaning "day"); and
• Serpent (third sense, meaning unknown, but is probably "natural wisdom" from the books)

If you've found either of these, please let me know where you found them!

I had a thought that I might know where to find sun, causing me to take a quick trip into the game again this morning, but that was a dead-end lead.

I hate to leave 150G on the table when I'm so close, but honestly, this game is so juvenile, so insipid, so BAD... I just don't have the stomach for it.

I may take a quick look online to see if there is a walkthrough or FAQ, but if not, I'm done with this thing for good.

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PS: If I *did* know where those last two symbols were, I could put together a no-spoiler, no-frills walkthrough that will get you through all 1000 points in under 8 hours. That way I can limit the suffering of any point hound that gets cornered by this dog.

Anybody interested?

Still mired in The Golden Compass *sigh*

Yes, folks, I'm afraid I'm still playing The Golden Compass.

I thought it would be just a matter of dumping a few more hours into it to get the full 1,000 points. Well, my review still stands -- it's a horrible game and the best you can expect on a single play through (without a guide, anyway) is 700 points. You can get 750 if you are willing to suffer through it a second time -- which I did on Saturday.

The thing is -- this game is a total tease. Right now I have 102 of the 108 symbol meanings needed to get the second biggest achievement in the game (Symbol Master -- 150 points.) to make things worse, I know the exact location of a token for one of the symbols (saw it, but I need to restart the level to get to it) and the particular levels to find 2 or 3 more -- just not how to find/trigger the meanings.

And that's the problem -- discovering a symbol meaning can happen from any of the following:

• Finishing a level the fist time
• Collecting symbol tokens in the level
• Finding symbols in the levels using Pan's Ermine Insight
• Completing secret objectives and then collecting the revealed token
• Completing a conversation
• Overhearing a conversation
• Witnessing an event

So, even if you know what particular symbol meaning you are looking for (programming yourself to remove a schitoma), you aren't guaranteed to find the meaning, since it may only be triggered by some event.

I'm going to give it one last go tonight targeting a few specific levels and then throw the sucka onto the "abandoned" pile.

The Golden Compass: Review

Ah, a movie game. How we love to hate them. And this one pretty much deserves all the ire you can spare for it.

This game follows the plot of the movie through the eyes of a 12 year old adept girl named Lyra (LIE-ra) and a talking armored bear named Iorek (YOR-ekk.)

I can already hear you groaning.

Lyra, like all people in the world of the Golden Compass, has a dæmon, a sort of spiritual animal familiar. Lyra's life force is somehow tied to the creature, in that if it dies, she will die and vice-versa. This particular dæmon can take on the form of an ermine, a sloth, an eagle or a wildcat. Each of these dæmon forms assist Lyra in various ways throughout her journey. For example, the ermine is able to detect secrets and plot points. No, really, he detects plot points. (Pause for derisive smirk.) The sloth can be used to negotiate horizontal poles by swinging from them. The eagle can glide short distances while carrying Lyra and the wildcat can climb certain types of walls while Lyra hangs onto its back.

As weird and specialized as the dæmon concept is in this game, it is used and required throughout for almost all of the platforming action in the game. Unfortunately, the interface for all of these actions is horribly flawed. For example, the sloth will often miss a horizontal bar that you have jumped for, even though it looks like you performed the move correctly on screen.

Even worse, many puzzles require that you change characters while jumping or soaring. But the layout of the commands makes this unnecessarily tricky. For example: you could be soaring toward a horizontal bar with the eagle, which requires you to hold the X button while pushing the left thumbstick toward the bar. To grab the bar, you must change to the sloth using the D-pad -- yes, the D-pad which is normally activated by your left thumb -- only you left thumb is trying to keep the eagle moving toward the bar. Oh, and once you make the switch, you need to quickly let go of the X button and then tap it, not hold it. All of this while hoping you haven't drifted too close to the horizontal bar, because the sloth can't grab a bar that it is too close to. I could go on about the errors in this game mechanic, but you get the idea. It reeks.

The voicework between the familiar, nicknamed Pan, and Lyra can be very confusing, because, although Lyra is a girl and Pan has a little boys voice, their voices are very similar, as is their delivery. Especially in the beginning of the game, it seems like Lyra is carrying on a conversation with herself. It takes a while to tune your ear to distinguish between them.

Lyra has a couple of other talents: one of which is that she lies to adults. (Yes, you read that right -- a children's game that encourages lying to adults in almost every conversation.) The "Deception Game", as it is called in TGC, involves playing a number of inane, random mini-games to determine how successful Lyra's lies will be. The minigames are things like: avoid the red dots, get the gold dot past the moving red bricks, smash the red dots when they turn green -- you get the idea. It's simply abysmal.

Lyra's other skill is soothsaying by interpreting the motions of a clockwork device inscribed with 36 symbols, called an Alethiometer. Each of the symbols can have one of three different meanings -- meanings which you are to discover using your ermine familiar. Throughout the game, you will be presented with questions that you can attempt to answer with your alethiometer. There is a worthless minigame here that is very easy if you know all three symbols representing your question, but gets progressively more difficult if you are missing one or two symbols. The answers to the questions are sometimes required to progress the story, but are more often a feeble way of providing exposition -- and much of that is information you either didn't need or already knew if you've been paying attention to the storyline.

Occasionally, Lyra will get into a scrape where she has to play a sort of dodging game with her opponent. In other words, a D-pad direction will show up on the screen and you have to press it. If done successfully, the opponent will miss you and hurt themselves on the scenery. Yeah, I've already said enough. *Sigh*

Iorek is a fighter character. He can guard with the A button, attack with up to a three hit combo using the X button if standing still, rush an opponent or breakable object with the X button while moving, pick up an opponent using A+X and occasionally perform a special attack using Y. If you smash enough objects or enemies, you will charge up a power attack with the B button that pretty much just knocks everyone down. That's it. When you play Iorek you are pretty much just mashing the X button. There's no real depth of play here. And to make things worse, if you are moving the character even slightly when you press X, it counts as a rush instead of a hit, which can get really annoying when all you are trying to do is make the bear face his opponent.

Given the above, is there any reason to play this game? Not really. If you've seen the movie or read the book, then there's nothing new here in terms of story. If you just want some easy Gamerscore, you can get about 700 or so playing through the story for a very frustrating, eight to twelve hours. (The additional points will require a LOT of cursoring over the environment on every level using the ermine dæmon's ability and the completion of a secret challenge on each level.)

So, if you really want to play through the story because you don't get out much and don't want to be seen entering the theater to watch an arguably blasphemous children's flick, then take your licks and rent this sucker. The story is interesting enough to suffer a single play through if you are that desperate to go through it. Otherwise, leave this one behind.

This one gets 2 rotten cabbages out of 10. Yeah, it stinks.

Call of Duty 4: Finished it on Veteran!

I did it! It took some work, but I did it.

And... for those of you who read yesterday's post, I was able to get a checkpoint at the blast doors the second time I got there.

I'm not sure, but I think I may have triggered the checkpoint by picking up one of the flash grenades sitting in the alcove to the left of the blast doors. I was desperate to trigger a checkpoint and threw a flash at random so that I could pick up one that was laying on the ground. I picked it up and *checkpoint*!

I wasn't using flash grenades when going through that level (maybe I should have) so the other few times I'd gotten to the blast doors, I wasn't able to pick any of the grenades up.

Of course, there could be another explanation -- I had over 3:20 on the countdown clock when I got to the blast doors that last time -- almost a minute more time than I'd had on any prior run. It may be that they don't count the checkpoint if there isn't a reasonable amount of time left to complete the level.

Call of Duty 4: Arrrrgggghhhhh!

Okay, anything I said about the hardest level on a videogame is now reduced to nothing with my latest CoD4 veteran experience.

I spent over FIVE HOURS last night trying to get beyond a single checkpoint. And if the game had done a decent, reasonable checkpoint, I would have been far beyond it now.

The level, and I'm sorry, but I don't know its name at the moment, has a timer going throughout. You start with something like 22 minutes and work your way into a missle launch facility as quickly as possible. After about ten minutes of infiltration, I found myself below ground, working my way toward the launch control center. The first part underground was rather difficult, but not too horrible -- it took me, maybe, 20 tries at the most. I got a checkpoint as I ran into an unoccupied corridor with 5:42 left on the clock. (My checkpoint actually happened just before the corridor, point-blank in front of an evil dude, but let's ignore the bad checkpoint for the moment.)

From this dark corridor, you go to the end and turn left into a well lit corridor with channels leading off to the left and right. The way ahead is blocked by boxes that you cannot jump over. Enemies can enter the fray from behind the boxes and from both the left and right channels. And every direction is occupied by multiple enemies.

I spent from 6:00 PM last night until 12:30 PM -- 6½ hours -- just trying to get past this one part.

And here's the kicker. Twice last night (only twice in 6½ hours) I reached a safe place where my team reunited and had a quick conversation. A cut-scene basically.

NO CHECKPOINT.

Are you freakin' kidding me? A spot that takes a decent player over three hours on average to get to, it's safe, and you don't mark a checkpoint?!?!?

Yes, I know the level is timed, so maybe they don't want to checkpoint you when you are low on time, but I got to that part with 2:35 on the clock the first time, which should be plenty of time to complete the last segment of this insane level. Since I didn't know quite what to expect, I died almost immediately after that. (Before setting the breaching charge, for those that have played this part already.) The second time, three hours later, after clearing the room, I was lost and not sure where to go to set the breaching charge. I set the breach and with 65 seconds remaining tried to Rambo my way into the control room and died. (Stupid! I could have probably let my team and the team entering from the other side clean up with time to spare...)

I'm going to try it again right now. We'll see if I have my sanity intact tomorrow morning...

Call of Duty 4: How I beat "One Shot Kill" on Veteran

Call of Duty 4 on Veteran is getting insane! Three bullets and you are reading an obscure quote on the nature of war.

My most recent conquered nemesis in this game was the "One Shot Kill" level. Making the actual kill is fun, but after that, it gets incredibly hard. Here's my experience with the end of this whacked-out level.

First off you find yourself in a parking lot near some apartment buildings. You have a sniper rifle and a pistol. There are high-radiation zones on all sides, and there are dudes pouring out of buildings and helicopters coming from all sides to kill you.

It took me around 30 tries (no, seriously, 30 tries) to figure out that my best bet was to run to the right through some bushes to find some school buses, wait for three guys to come running between a gap between the buses and a building and pop 'em. Then run toward an apartment building marked by your compass, taking your chances at no-scoping a couple of guys as you sprint for the doorway.

Checkpoint. (*whew*!)

You run through the ground floor of the apartment building to emerge in a courtyard. An event happens (awesome, but I don't want to spoil it) and your partner is now left without the use of his legs. You now have to work your way toward the rendezvous site by carrying him a little ways, dropping him strategically, fighting some baddies and moving on. This part isn't too bad -- you go through an outdoor area and then through another apartment building with a couple of checkpoints in-between.

Then it gets really ugly.

You exit a building into an area where a travelling amusement park has been abandoned. You set your partner down as indicated on your compass and run about setting claymores to prepare for an onslaught.

You may have an automatic weapon now, but you really only need a sniper rifle and pistol for this part. It is extremely difficult. I found that placing a line of claymores CLOSE to your sniping position on the Ferris wheel (within the line of abandonded cars) helps immensely. (Thanks to The Evil Dad for this tip!) Take out as many baddies as you can at a distance, letting the claymores take out any that get close. You may have to revert to a pistol if anyone gets through the line of claymores, but if you are a fast shot and take out as many people in the distance as possible, you can do it.

And seriously -- having the claymores close in makes all the difference. When I first tried this part of the level, I had them out at the fence (about 50' out) and was getting killed all the time.

You kill the last guy and *Checkpoint*.

As you wipe your brow, your lame (in more ways than one) partner shouts out "Choppers comin'! Get ready."

Four or five helicopters fly in dropping four soldiers each and another 8-10 soldiers come running out of the apartment buildings. You can try to pick off some of the soldiers in the air as they drop down their rope lines, but you'll get eight of them at most due to the way the helicopters enter the area. In the main battle area, there is no safe place to hide. Most, if not all, of your Claymores have detonated. This is where it gets ugly.

I discovered that the only way I could finish this part and survive was to take the chicken's way out. Here's what I did:

From the checkpoint, I ignored the incoming helicopters, ran out into the middle of the battle area and exchanged my pistol for a sub-machine gun. I then ran to the white picket fence and laid a line of C4 satchels all along it. Then I ran to the apartment building on the right (as you face away from the Ferris Wheel) and hid in an L-shaped corner where I could peek back at the fence.

As the helos arrived, I used my sniper rifle to pick off anyone I could seen from around the corner. (This is important -- you need to get rid of as many of these guys as you can.) I was really just waiting for the rescue chopper to come in, but this was the only place on the map I could find where I could get some decent cover and still take out some bad guys. You end up sniping about 15 guys in and around the fence and bumper car arena. They will occasionally barrage you with grenades, but you are almost completely safe from them if you stay tucked around the corner when you see the grenade icon.

As soon as the rescue helo dropped, I switched to my C4 detonator and blasted everyone hanging out near the fence. (Remember those satchel charges?) I switched to my SMG and made a run for the helicopter, taking out any remaining bad guys between me and the helo that the Marines might have missed. After taking a brief, healing rest, I ran to my partner, picked him up for the last time and made a bloody, blind run for the helo.

*Checkpoint* and end of the chapter.

So far this has been the hardest level I think I have ever played in any videogame. I was so frustrated with the first wave of enemies (where you set the claymores) that I took a 20 day sabbatical from the game's Campaign! I was dumbfounded when I hit the checkpoint for it last night and realized the battle wasn't over.

Assassin's Creed: The End?

I stayed up way too late last night to finish off Assassin's Creed.

At first I thought I'd go looking for some more flags, but after spending an hour in the Rich District of Acre and coming up blank, I decided to shift gears and go a head and finish the game.

Weirdness Ensues

I headed my horse into the Arsuf zone and something bizarre happened: none of the characters would fight back! Even worse, as I walked further into Arsuf, I heard battle noises and was getting hurt, even though there was no one around. I ran a little further down the road and saw some Saracens beating on a cliffside -- only I was getting hurt by each strike.

My character died and went into resync back at the start of Arsuf -- only this time, there were two of me! I had a dopplegänger mirroring my movements about 2 feet away. Again we found enemies that wouldn't fight back, but my twin started fighting me! I ran from him and dropped through the map into nothingness. After falling about 200 feet, the game registered my death.

Okay, too weird, and I don't think this is what Ubi intended. I dumped to the 360 Dashboard, reloaded the game and set out for Arsuf again. Same thing: enemies that don't fight back and weird zones where you can walk out of the world and fall to your death. After revival, I again had an identical twin nemesis.

It was about that time that I noticed I had a dancepad still plugged in as controller 2. I unplugged it, restarted the game and headed for Arsuf.

Aha! Now the archers were fighting back!

BIG TIP: Unplug or turn off any additional controllers when heading into Arsuf. Apparently, you enter some weird test mode when a second controller is attached to the game.


End Game?

NOTE: MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD

After you complete the encounter in Arsuf, you will have one additional battle -- one that you should have been able to predict, in part, by looking at the list of memory strands in the Animus.

You will go through a series of battles and then the goal of the Animus experiments on Subject 17 (Desmond) is revealed. You are jerked out of your memories and back into the lab.

If you've been following the story closely to this point, there are no great revelations here. Abstergo gets the locations of other pieces of Eden from your last memory fragment, Lucy is revealed to be a true friend, and you find out what happened (in several ways) to Subject 16, who leaves behind a plethora of "documentation", much of it referring to the end of the world, Templar symbology and chaos theory. You find messages written in Hebrew, Arabic and Chinese script. There are also some coded messages or gibberish written into simple geometric shapes. It's hard to know, which. There's even a two foot tall bar code of the value 1221-2012. (December 21, 2012 -- the date the Mayan calendar ends.) You will also find an email regarding horriffic events in Africa.

You are then left to wander the lab and replay any memories you wish to in the Animus.

But you are left without a resolution -- Abstergo got what they wanted, you are still a prisoner, and Lucy has only delayed your execution, not stopped it. You have the writings of a prior Animus test subject, all of which seems to point to Armageddon, but you have no idea if his writings are prophetic or simply the addled spewings of a mad conspiracy theorist.

It was 2AM back in my media center, the credits had rolled and the game had left me feeling hopeless.

Now, there's a possibility that there is more here -- it was just so late I didn't follow up a remaining possibility. Just before you go into your final memory, Lucy reveals something to you and encourages you that there is always hope. The last memory in the Animus has a "Play" arrow on it (like the transport control on a CD player.) Could there be more there? I really hope so. I just can't see the game ending where it has. Plus, I've talked to Lucy at every chance and not gotten the "Conversationalist" achievement, so maybe... just maybe...

I'll let you know what I find out.

Assassin's Creed: Dealing with Templars

By far, the most difficult enemies you will regularly encounter while playing Assassin's Creed are the Templars. There are 60 of them spread through out the game -- about ten in each of the major cities (Acre, Damascus and Jerusalem) and another thirty or so in the Kingdom area. They are easily identified by their white robes with a red cross on their chest and silly-looking, canister-shaped helmets.

These guys are tough. By comparison, I can drop any guard in the game with a single thrown knife, yet these guys will still come running at you after sinking four knives into their chests. There are really only two ways to deal with these guys:

• Stealth -- Fortunately for you, if you can catch a Templar unaware, you can slip your hidden dagger into his back and be done with him. Templars always are found with a chest* behind them, which can sometimes make a stealth approach difficult, but not impossible.
  
  If the Templar has his back to a wall, you can often hang from the wall, equip your hidden blade and then select the "Assassiate" option by hitting the X button. It's one of the coolest kills in the game.
  
  I've also found that if the Templar is looking straight ahead with his back to a corner, that I can sneak up on him by hugging a wall to either side of him without him noticing. Once you are behind him, show him the purpose of your blade.
  
  
• Brute Force -- When stealth fails (or isn't possible) you are going to have to fight these guys. The fights are ugly. You can't combo-kill them, they break through your defense posture, and they throw you around like a rag doll at every opportunity. My best approach to taking these guys down in this situation is:
  
  
• Only slash once with your sword and immediately block. (Combo kills fail, because the Templar will almost always counter your second strike.)
  
• Try to get a counter in using RT or RT+X
  
• Jump away using RT+A
  
• Do your best to grab him after his first hit and throw him to the ground! If you can get him to fall, then run to him and stab like a madman.
  
Hitting him when he's down is the only way I've been able to consistently kill these guys in a fight. But getting the grab is risky and difficult. Try it enough times, though, and you'll eventually get him -- and without getting killed if your sync bar is reasonably well developed.

One bonus to dropping a Templar is that your sync bar will immediately refill, which can be a welcome event if you encounter a Templar accidentally while fighting off (or running from) a group of guards.

Another benefit is that the Templar is permanently retired from the game and you are one step closer to getting the Personal Vendetta achievement.

---

* The chest is the game's recognition of the Templar's creation of modern banking. They were the first to allow you to deposit money or gold in one place and withdraw it from another after presenting a draft or check. The system was initially put in place as a way of protecting pilgrims during the Crusades. Highwaymen would have nothing to steal if travellers deposited funds with the Templars before beginning their pilgrimage.

MASS EFFECT: A Critical Look Backward

I finished my first run through of Mass Effect on Sunday. Overall, it is a wonderful game. Yeah, it had it's moments when the framerate would slow to zero, but it never locked up on me, and those moments were reasonably rare. (And, honestly, about as common as in KOTOR and KOTOR II -- only the old Xbox would lock up.)

I do have one negative observation, and it's not a big one, but I feel that they skimped on the story somewhat when comparing this game to KOTOR or Jade Empire. My first run through KOTOR took 106 hours. No, seriously -- I still have the gamesave. I finished Mass Effect in about 38 hours -- and that included exploring every single planet, exhausting every Paragon dialog tree I could find, and revisiting all of the dialogable characters on all of the major planets at least twice (I was at the Citadel at least six times.) Add to that the fact that almost a third of that time was spent exploring maps, and we are looking at a significantly smaller story.

Understand that I loved the exploration angle of the game, and the fact that every line of dialog was spoken and acted out beautifully only contributes to my affection for this title. Not only that, but finishing the game was a satisfying experience (unlike Halo 2.) I just see, in comparison to prior BioWare efforts, a shortfall on the breadth of story options presented. While there were some very exciting side-quests and great multi-tiered moral dilemmas (especially on Noveria!), most of the side quests were fairly simple and quick to finish, again in comparison to KOTOR and JE, where the side quests tended to be rather involved.

And there were a couple of places where the story fell short for me -- where I felt like the game teased me to open up new story lines that never appeared:

• Shadow Broker: I was approached at one point to provide some data to the Shadow Broker, which I did (Renegade!) And it seemed as if there would be a continuing subplot involving this mysterious information trader. But nothing else ever happened. Maybe I missed a trigger point somewhere (possible, but doubtful) or maybe when I play through as a true renegade more possibilites will open up. But this plotline felt like it got dropped on the floor shortly after I left the Citadel.
  
  
• The Consort: I was sure that there would be an ongoing plotline here as well. But she was involved in two Citadel-only quests and then her plotline dropped as well. I was convinced that following the Paragon's Path would reunite me with her later in the game, but she disappeared after solving the problem with the slandered Elcor.
  
  
• Hansen (the drunk in Chodda's Den): I never did find a real plot line involving this guy. Did I just miss it? He's a topic of conversation with the mechanic beneath the Med Center, but I couldn't figure out where he fit into the story. It's possible the quest involving him was so short, I don't remember it, but man, it must have been totally insignificant. Or maybe I triggered something with my explorations that short-circuited his part. Anybody else experience something different with him?
  
  Edit: I've since learned that I didn't get the Hansen storyline because my character was an orphan. Interesting!

Again, I think this is a wonderful game, and I plan on playing it through at least two more times after I've gone through the glut of November releases. My complaints here are minor. They just serve to show that the game isn't perfect and to contrast this title against the shadows of prior BioWar giants. Be assured, Mass Effect has safely joined their ranks.

Now it's back to my second most anticipated game of 2007: Assassin's Creed. I'm on Day 6 and should have a retrospective for you all by the weekend.

In the meantime, look for another tip on Mass Effect and several for Assassin's Creed as the week progresses.

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #5 -- Licenses

One of the most convenient things in Mass Effect is having a store on board the SSV Normandy. It's a great place to sell your high level gear to pump up your credit balance.

It can also be a source for the very best weapons in the game (Spectre gear Mark X) if you play things right.

The key to getting at that high-profile gear is licenses. Throughout the game, you will find vendors selling licenses for various manufacturers. Buy every one of these you find. These licenses provide your Quartermaster the ability to procure weapons, armor and upgrades from those manufacturers. Not all vendors will have licenses for you to buy at first, but each will have at least one to offer throughout the game.

The vendors that have licenses can be found in the following locations:

• Citadel Presidium -- Financial District: A Hanar sells a limited selection of goods here.
• Citadel Wards -- C-Sec Academy: The C-Sec supply officer
• Citadel Wards -- Upper Market: A Volus has a stall here
• Citadel Wards -- Lower Market: A Salarian has a stall here.
• Citadel Wards -- Medical Center: The human doctor with a shady past
• Noveria -- Look for an Elcor in the middle of the Cafeteria
• Feros -- The only Salarian on the planet offers his wares in a discreet corner

You can collect all the licenses if you follow this simple procedure:

• While at the Citadel, visit all of the vendors and buy a license from anyone who offers it. (Licenses are listed under [Standard Items] and are usually at the bottom of the list.) Note that you will not be able to purchase items from the C-Sec officer until after you have been enlisted into the Spectres.
  
• During each major plot segment, visit the vendor posted there (Noveria, Feros) and see if a license can be purchased.
  
• After the completion of each major plot segment (Citadel, Rescue Liara, Noveria, Feros, Virmire), revisit each of the vendors you've met so far. They will each have new stock, often including a license. Always buy the license first!

As long as you are leveling your character up at a decent rate by exploring in between missions, you should end up getting all of the licenses. You'll know you have them when the Normandy Quartermaster starts selling you Mark X Spectre weapons, like the HMSR X Sniper Rifle.

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #4 -- Romance

Like all BioWare RPGs, Mass Effect has a romance subplot that you can explore. Unlike other BioWare RPGs, though, in this game you can only romance a single character at a time. Once you've advanced past a certain point in the romance plot, any other characters are locked out. The romance subplot is not as deep as it is in other BW games, but it has a double pay-off: a romantic interlude is played out in-game and you can earn an achievement for it.

There are three romanceable characters in Mass Effect: Kaiden, Ashley and Liara. You are given a hint at this in-game -- as you approach any of these characters aboard the SSV Normandy, there is a short cut-scene where the characters exchange longing glances.

Let's look at each and what's required to romance them.

• Kaiden
  
  Kaiden is an appropriate love interest if you have a female Shepard. You can enter into the romance subplot by approching him on the second deck of the Normandy and making personal inquiries. Respond to him as a potential lover, not a captain, which generally means selecting all of the answers at the 1:30 and 10:30 positions on the dialog wheel.
  
  You will need to talk to him immediately after gaining access to the Normandy and after every major mission. (Major missions are those that are flagged on the galaxy map, such as Noveria.) Be sure to go to him after every mission and make a few checks in-between.
  
  Finally, make sure Kaiden doesn't get killed. Without spoiling anything, realize that there are two places toward the end of the game where you either may or will be sacrificing Kaiden or Ashley. Make sure that it's Ashley that is put in danger, not Kaiden!
  
  Also, if you get Liara early in the game, do not follow any lines of dialog along the lines of "I want to know more about you" as this line of dialog could preclude romance with Kaiden.
  
  
• Ashley
  
  Ashley can be romanced by a male Shepard. Like Kaiden, you need to talk to her about personal matters on the Normandy after every major engagement (including the completion of the Citadel main quest where you gain access to the Normandy.) All of the comments above that apply to Kaiden apply here: don't let her get killed and don't follow the romance track with Liara. Ashley can be found on the third deck of the Normandy, cleaning weapons.
  
  
• Liara
  
  Liara can be romanced by a male or female Shepard.
  
  In order to get the romance quest to work, you will need to rescue Liara as soon as you leave the Citadel. If you take on any other major plot quest (such as Noveria) before rescuing her, you can kiss this romance goodbye.
  
  Once she's been rescued, you will need to talk to her about personal issues after every major mission. Always use the 1:30 and 10:30 responses on the dialog wheel. She can be found on the second deck of the Normandy in the closet (?!?) at the back of the Medical Lab (where Dr. Chandra works.)
  
  As with Kaiden and Ashley, you will need to ignore your character's other romantic interest (Kaiden for females, Ashley for males) until the sparks are flying with Liara.
  
  Unlike Kaiden and Ashley, you will not have to worry about keeping Liara alive. If you've gotten to her early and made all of the amorous advances on time, this one is a slam-dunk.
  
  One other thing to note: If you've already established a relationship with Kaiden or Ashley and that character gets killed, you cannot use Liara as a fallback to finish the romance quest. Trust me, I've tried. :(