The Justice Files

100,000 Baby!

2010-02-17T22:21:00.001-06:00

This is what my GamerCard looks like tonight. 100,000 points on the nose. Woo-hoo!

No cheating, just 4½ years of enjoying some Xbox 360 goodness... except for Bionicle and The Golden Compass, of course.

I'm thinking my blog over at 360Voice.com will be interesting tomorrow.

Blog Revival and Twitter

2009-04-24T09:42:00.001-05:00

Okay, it’s about time I revived this sucka. Same as before, my posts will be random, but the mix will be about 80% games, 10% life experience, 5% programming, 4% miscellany and 1% bad limericks made up while showering.

I’m also on Twitter now with two profiles:

http://Twitter.com/donperk is my main feed. It’s about 80% videogames, 10% life experience… yeah, you get the idea. This is a MEDIUM VOLUME feed. I tweet between 2 and 20 times a day to this account.
http://Twitter.com/FarCryFriday is for people who want up to the minute information on our weekly Far Cry Friday matches. I tweet there whenever the FCF blog is updated or when anything else germane to the custom Far Cry 2 maps strikes my fancy. LOW VOLUME: Updated about 3-4 times a week.

Speaking of Far Cry Friday, for those of you who don’t know, I host a weekly gaming session on the Xbox 360 version of Far Cry 2 (almost) every Friday night. It’s VERY well organized and we have a great group of people playing lots of team games. For more information (a whole lot more), see the Far Cry Friday blog.

Taking Down Hunters in Half-Life 2: Episode 2

2008-01-10T11:03:00.000-06:00

Here's a quick mini-quide to quickly taking out the evil Hunter robots in Episode 2:

Revolver -- 3 or 4 shots to the body and down it will go
Shotgun -- 4 to 6 shots at fairly close range (15 feet or less)
Rockets -- 1 rocket, dead on
Vehicle -- slam it with enough velocity and a single hit will take it down.
AR-2 -- use the secondary fire's electric ball for a quick, single-shot take-down. (Note that there is dialog in-game during the last chapter that reveals this if you listen to the entire conversation.) Note that the ball will not bounce off of the Hunter like it does with other targets, so it's one ball per Hunter.
Gravity Gun -- grab an object with the ZPEFM (preferably metal) and hold it between you and the Hunter. Let him fill it with fechettes and then lob it back at him before they activate. (This is hinted at in one of the achievements. Thanks to "GTVc Diemos" for pointing out how to do it.)
Magnusson Device -- Okay, I haven't actually seen these get a kill, since they don't seem to attach to Hunters, but it will knock the Hunter back a fair distance. Just lob it at the Hunter and let him do the rest when he ignites it with his flechettes.

I tried the crossbow once on a Hunter, but since it didn't single-shot him and the reload time is slow, I can't recommend using it.

The Orange Box: HλLF-LIFE 2: Episode 1 -- Mini-review

2008-01-08T08:10:00.000-06:00

Quick aside: I know, I promised a review of Arkadian Warriors and have been silent since Christmas. I've had a horrible cold virus that I'm just now getting over. I'll be posting reviews for both episodes of Half-Life 2, with the Arkadian Warriors review to follow later this week. Apologies to anyone who was waiting for it.

Early Monday morning, shortly after Midnight, I couldn't sleep due to a virus that was mucking around with my sleep schedule as much as it was my immune system. So I decided to give Half-Life 2: Episode 1 on the Xbox 360 a go. Yes, at Midnight.

This game starts at the moment where Half-Life 2 ends: the field containing the Combine's dark energy reactor has just collapsed and the death of both Alyx Vance and Gordon Freeman appears to be a foregone conclusion.

But, in that instant, the Vortigaunts and the G-Man each make an appearance. The former to save the lives of Alyx and Gordon; the latter to make their newly revived lives more complicated.

The first half of this story is played in and around the Citadel -- the massive Combine nerve center that was partially destroyed at the end of Half-Life 2. Gordon and Alyx must re-enter the Citadel to place a temporary containment field around the dark energy reactor core -- granting time for the denizens of City 17 to escape the inevitable explosion of the core.

There are a number of Valve-caliber physical puzzles to solve as you work you way through the decaying Citadel and quite a few encounters with hostile Combine guard forces who don't seem to understand that the Combine has been defeated. As you work your way through, you will have Alyx with you most of the time. This is a good thing, as Alyx is armed with a pistol and is a decent shot.

Having Alyx with you is also important if you decide to go for the "The One Free Bullet" achievement. For this Xbox 360 achievement, you must play through Episode 1 in its entirety, firing exactly one bullet. As you might expect, the opportunity to fire that one bullet becomes pretty obvious. After that you must use your gravity gun, er, I'm sorry, Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, for most of your kills. You are also free to use any other weapon that does not use bullets, such as grenades and the rocket launcher. I went for this achievement on my first play through and found that it added greatly to my experience. You end up having to depend more on your wits and agility when you can't fire bullets. You don't have to play the game this way, but I highly recommend it.

When you finally contain the dark energy core, you find that the Combine has been deliberately trying to accelerate the destabilization of the core in order to create a massive inter-spatial portal. You also intercept a data packet that may be the key to closing that portal, as well as some video footage recorded by the redeemed turncoat Dr. Judith Mossman.

The remainder of the game document's Gordon and Alyx's escape from City 17, culminating in a showdown between Gordon and Combine forces at the last train out of town.

I should warn you that there is a series of short escort tasks at the very end of the game, but they are not your usual typical "escort mission." The overall task is to deliver groups of citizens safely to a nearby train. The citizens are armed, which helps, but the task gets progressively more difficult after each group is delivered. It is possible to deliver everyone safely without using a gun -- you just need to be judicious with how you dole out your rockets. To sweeten the deal, there is a resupply locker full of rockets about 1/3 of the way into the escort pathway. Delicious!

Episode 1 is short -- I finished it in just over four hours. (I went back to bed at 4:30 AM after finishing it.) Even so, there is a lot of story packed into that time frame. The end of the game leaves you breathless, wanting to see where the story will go next.

The dialog in this episode is probably the best in the series. They worked very hard to develop Alyx in this game and it shows. There is a wonderful moment, for example, where your flashlight runs out of power and you are left in total darkness. Alyx growls like a zombie from behind you as a joke. It's very effective and there are nuances to the dialog like this throughout the game.

With a very few stark exceptions, Merle Dandridge's voice work here as Alyx is exceptional.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Robert Guillome in his portrayal of Dr. Eli Vance. He still comes off as Uncle Remus sitting on the rocking chair, telling tales about Brer Rabbit, when he should be playing the role of the concerned father. It's not quite so bad as it was in Half-Life 2, where Dr. Vance has been kept in a standing coffin for days after the Combine cut off his left leg and he sounds like he's saying "Jus' run 'long, chile, I'll catch up with you" when he should be angry and terrified. (Honestly, I don't really blame Guillome here -- I think he is well-cast -- I believe this is more a case of bad directing.)

Michael Shapiro's voice work for Barney Calhoun is still atrocious. He delivers every line as if he's a 1970s afternoon game show host.

Other than the flawed voice work, this is a well-built, intelligent expansion to the Half-Life series. And for those of us who waited for it to come out on the Xbox 360, it's an excellent value, packed as it is in The Orange Box bundle.

And definitely, play it without using your guns. You can thank me later.

Technorati Tags: Half-Life 2: Episode 1,Xbox 360

Merry Christmas: DJ's Christmas Chili

2007-12-24T10:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, no games today -- I'll save the Arkadian Warriors review for later this week.

It's Christmas Eve, and tradition in my family says we have Chili either tonight or on Christmas day. This year, everyone is coming over to my house for a relaxed time of playing games and chowing down on chili.

I just made two pots of my special Christmas recipe chili. This is a sweet, aromatic chili -- a little different from your typical cook-off fare. But I like it -- it has a Yuletide air about it.

DJ's Christmas Chili
Serves: 20

A half-handful each of Serrano, Poblano & Jalapeño chillies -- this will vary according to taste and the strength of the peppers.
1 orange bell pepper (you can substitute green -- I just like the color)
(optional) 2 Habañero chillies (orange, not Red Savina, unless you are feeling sadistic)
1 lb. pork sausage
1 lb. ground pork (for a slightly stronger taste, substitute with another pound of sausage)
4 lbs. ground beef
1½ lbs. stew beef (re-cubed smaller) or teriaki strips (split smaller)
1 - 14½ oz. can diced tomatoes (you can use crushed, but diced is better)
2 - 1lb 13 oz. cans tomato sauce
2 - 15 oz. cans pinto beans
3 - 16 oz. cans kidney beans
½ lb honey (you can double this for mild honies like orange blossom -- NOT clover!)
3 oz. mild molasses (unsulfered)
1 cup mid-western-style BBQ sauce (molasses base, not vinegar. I use KC Masterpiece)
2 Tb. salt
1 Tb. chili powder
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 Tb. red curry
1 Tb. Chinese 5 spice (you can substitue cinnamon, but I prefer 5 spice, which includes hint of cinnamon, in this recipe)
1 Tb. paprika
1 tsp ground ginger
2 Tb. black ground pepper
1 or 2 Tb. minced garlic (3-7 cloves)
2 Tb. unsweetened cocoa
(optional) 1 cup unsifted masa flour (corn flour -- look in the ethnic foods section. NOT corn starch or corn meal!)

Take all your peppers & chillies, wash them and place them on your outdoor grill for roasting, stems and all. Peel the onion, cut it in half and put it on the grill as well. About 20-30 minutes -- you want the outside of the chillies to be blackened!

Pan brown all of your meat. It is extremely important, especially with the ground beef, that you thoroughly drain off the fat once you've browned the meat. That excess fat is what gives people heartburn, not the chillies.

Dump all the browned and drained meat in a large soup pot. Add the tomatoes and two large cans of water. Turn up your stove fire to high -- you want to get things boiling, not violently, but nicely boiling.

Add the beans, honey, molasses, BBQ sauce and spices. Also add the cocoa -- this is used not so much for taste as to bind any stray fat to the meat. (Old chili cook-off trick!)

Pull your chillies and onions off of the grill. Chop the onions -- a chopper here will help, since the onions will be soft. Pull the stems from your chillies -- they should be very soft, so the stems will pop right out. Mince all of your chillies (seeds* and all) using a food processor or fine chopper. Dump all of it into your pot.

Turn the fire down to a simmer for two hours.

You can now add the masa if you want a thick chili -- this stuff will immediately thicken things up as you blend it in, so be sure to have a strong spoon!

That's it -- it's now ready to serve, though I prefer to let it simmer overnight, or cool overnight in the refrigerator.

This is a very different chili, somewhat reminiscent of Indian or Thai food, though still a Texas chili at its heart.

If you are getting an odd after-taste, you probably used a clover honey! Mild honies work much better.

I have considered using coconut milk instead of honey, but have never tried it. If you do, let me know how it turned out!

Hint: If you find that you've over-done it on the chillies, you can rescue your chili by adding another 3 lbs. of ground beef, another can of tomato sauce, another can of diced tomatoes and two more cans of beans (pinto or kidney) -- assuming your pot can hold it all! That should cut the heat while maintaining the overall character of the chili. If you used masa, do not add more masa! You will end up turning the chili into a paste.

* A common misconception is that the heat of a chili is concentrated in the seeds. It's actually concentrated in the ribbing, where the pepper manufactures capsaicin. The seeds do absorb some capsaicin, but the bulk of it is in the white portion of the ribbed structures inside the chili.

Mystery at Jersey Mike's

2007-12-19T15:42:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this post has nothing to do with video games, but it is about a pretty weird little real-life event, so read on...

For lunch today, I decided to go down to Jersey Mike's in Brentwood for a tuna sub. For those of you who've never heard of it, Jersey Mike's is a submarine sandwich chain that serves a good product, is known for impeccable customer services and has a sort of late 1950's East Coast flair. And today was no different -- I got a good sandwich and great service.

But it reminded me of what happened at a different Jersey Mike's about two weeks ago:

It was a Tuesday afternoon and my friend Ray, the V.P. of Development at our company drops by my office and says "Jersey Mike's?"

"Sure!", I say, and off we go in his truck.

On the way there he says "I'm really curious to see what happens when we get there."

"Why is that?" I was intrigued.

"Well I went there last week and the power was out, so they couldn't do business. I went back a couple of days later, and they were out of turkey and wheat bread. Who knows what will happen when we get there today?"

We get to the shop and there are only two employees working there (normally there are 3 to 5.) The back kitchen is dark. We walk up and notice that the meat and cheese cooler seems a little light.

Ray orders first asking "So, how is your inventory today?"

"Oh, we're all stocked up!"

Really... sure doesn't look like it...

Ray then places his order "I'll have a regular roasted turkey on whole wheat with swiss cheese."

"We don't have roasted turkey. Just plain turkey." And the guy says it in a way that would make you think they never had roasted turkey. They always had in the past.

"Okay, make it plain turkey then."

The guy then looks at me.

"I'll have a regular #10 on whole wheat with provolone."

The guy looks at the menu board behind him to see what a #10 is. You've gotta be kidding me! I've never seen anyone who works there not know automatically that a #10 is a tuna sub. But here's the kicker:

The guy says, "Uh, you normally have to, uh, request cheese on that sandwich."

Back up a second... Didn't I just say "I'll have a regular #10 on whole wheat with provolone"? For most people, that would count as some form of requesting cheese on my sandwich, would it not?

I couldn't help but laugh as I said "Then consider that to be a request!"

He pulls out this heal of provolone that couldn't have been more than a quarter inch thick and starts slicing it. It's the last of the provolone in the whole store!

He then grabs an even smaller piece of swiss cheese for Ray's sandwich. Seriously, it was already so thin, there was no need to put it on the slicer. I looked in the cold cabinet, and it, too, was the last of the swiss.

"You want anything on that?"

"Light mayonaise, tomatoes and lots of jalepeño peppers."

The guy looks at me like I just threw the Pope off the steeple of St. Michael's Cathedral and then, after a good five seconds of dumbfounded staring, begins making my sandwich.

Okay, so I get to the cash register and get to deal with the other joker.

"Could you make that a combo with a large drink?"

"We don't have large drinks." Now this guy is saying things like I'm crazy... like they never, ever had large drink cups.

I look down at the cup dispenser and, sure enough, the section of the dispenser that would have had large cups was empty. Well, I know for sure they used to have large cups. Heck, I look over at the menu and they are listed there as well.

"I'll take a regular then."

Now, I go over to the drink station, and three of the six fountain drinks are labeled "Out of Order". Not only are they out of cheese, meat and large cups, they are out of half their fountain drinks as well.

We sat down and Ray was absolutely fuming at the bad service, the lack of stock -- the whole experience.

Me? I'm laughing. I'm figuring this place has been bought out and is a front for laundering drug money or something.

We finished our lunch and got up to leave. Just as we get to the door, two men come in, and one of them says "Hey, this is just what I've been craving all morning..."

Ray and I look at each other, both thinking, "Good luck with that!" and took off.

TGC: Done!

2007-12-19T15:31:00.000-06:00

Okay, I couldn't help myself. I was at Best Buy yesterday and was magnetically drawn to the game guides. I did something I've never done before: looked up information in a game guide at the store without buying the guide.

I know, there's a special place in Taiwan for people like me.

So, armed with that information, I went home and finished off the last achievement in The Golden Compass.

I'm done. Fini. No more!

On to bigger and better things: I'll be working off the remaining achievements in Call of Duty 4 tonight if I can. I know, it sounds like I'm playing for Gamerscore now, but I'm really not. When achievements are done correctly, IMO, they encourage you to play games in ways you wouldn't have before. CoD4's achievements, for the most part, encourage that behavior. So, tonight is for fun, not Gamerscore.

Speaking of Gamerscore... I passed the 50,000 points mark yesterday, thanks to the final achievement in The Golden Compass. And I'm having a party: "CJ's 50K Bash"

You are all invited. If you are in the Nashville, TN area on December 21, 2007, shoot me an email and you can come by for the fun in person. Otherwise, boot up your Xbox 360, throw in Call of Duty 4, and join in the virtual party. We'll be going from 6PM CST to 1AM. Woo-hoo!

Mea Culpa: No More Golden Compass

2007-12-18T11:02:00.000-06:00

Okay, so the absolultely irritating Golden Compass gave me a surprise last night -- I got the Lyra Belacqua Achievement (100G) out of nowhere while replaying the London chapter. It turns out that the game's journal makes you think there are more questions to find than there actually are by showing placeholders for questions that aren't in the game.

ERGHH!!

I was able to find 4 more symbols last night, leaving only 2 more to find:

Sun (first sense, meaning "day"); and
Serpent (third sense, meaning unknown, but is probably "natural wisdom" from the books)

If you've found either of these, please let me know where you found them!

I had a thought that I might know where to find sun, causing me to take a quick trip into the game again this morning, but that was a dead-end lead.

I hate to leave 150G on the table when I'm so close, but honestly, this game is so juvenile, so insipid, so BAD... I just don't have the stomach for it.

I may take a quick look online to see if there is a walkthrough or FAQ, but if not, I'm done with this thing for good.

PS: If I *did* know where those last two symbols were, I could put together a no-spoiler, no-frills walkthrough that will get you through all 1000 points in under 8 hours. That way I can limit the suffering of any point hound that gets cornered by this dog.

Anybody interested?

Still mired in The Golden Compass sigh

2007-12-17T17:10:00.000-06:00

Yes, folks, I'm afraid I'm still playing The Golden Compass.

I thought it would be just a matter of dumping a few more hours into it to get the full 1,000 points. Well, my review still stands -- it's a horrible game and the best you can expect on a single play through (without a guide, anyway) is 700 points. You can get 750 if you are willing to suffer through it a second time -- which I did on Saturday.

The thing is -- this game is a total tease. Right now I have 102 of the 108 symbol meanings needed to get the second biggest achievement in the game (Symbol Master -- 150 points.) to make things worse, I know the exact location of a token for one of the symbols (saw it, but I need to restart the level to get to it) and the particular levels to find 2 or 3 more -- just not how to find/trigger the meanings.

And that's the problem -- discovering a symbol meaning can happen from any of the following:

Finishing a level the fist time
Collecting symbol tokens in the level
Finding symbols in the levels using Pan's Ermine Insight
Completing secret objectives and then collecting the revealed token
Completing a conversation
Overhearing a conversation
Witnessing an event

So, even if you know what particular symbol meaning you are looking for (programming yourself to remove a schitoma), you aren't guaranteed to find the meaning, since it may only be triggered by some event.

I'm going to give it one last go tonight targeting a few specific levels and then throw the sucka onto the "abandoned" pile.

The Golden Compass: Review

2007-12-14T09:35:00.000-06:00

Ah, a movie game. How we love to hate them. And this one pretty much deserves all the ire you can spare for it.

This game follows the plot of the movie through the eyes of a 12 year old adept girl named Lyra (LIE-ra) and a talking armored bear named Iorek (YOR-ekk.)

I can already hear you groaning.

Lyra, like all people in the world of the Golden Compass, has a dæmon, a sort of spiritual animal familiar. Lyra's life force is somehow tied to the creature, in that if it dies, she will die and vice-versa. This particular dæmon can take on the form of an ermine, a sloth, an eagle or a wildcat. Each of these dæmon forms assist Lyra in various ways throughout her journey. For example, the ermine is able to detect secrets and plot points. No, really, he detects plot points. (Pause for derisive smirk.) The sloth can be used to negotiate horizontal poles by swinging from them. The eagle can glide short distances while carrying Lyra and the wildcat can climb certain types of walls while Lyra hangs onto its back.

As weird and specialized as the dæmon concept is in this game, it is used and required throughout for almost all of the platforming action in the game. Unfortunately, the interface for all of these actions is horribly flawed. For example, the sloth will often miss a horizontal bar that you have jumped for, even though it looks like you performed the move correctly on screen.

Even worse, many puzzles require that you change characters while jumping or soaring. But the layout of the commands makes this unnecessarily tricky. For example: you could be soaring toward a horizontal bar with the eagle, which requires you to hold the X button while pushing the left thumbstick toward the bar. To grab the bar, you must change to the sloth using the D-pad -- yes, the D-pad which is normally activated by your left thumb -- only you left thumb is trying to keep the eagle moving toward the bar. Oh, and once you make the switch, you need to quickly let go of the X button and then tap it, not hold it. All of this while hoping you haven't drifted too close to the horizontal bar, because the sloth can't grab a bar that it is too close to. I could go on about the errors in this game mechanic, but you get the idea. It reeks.

The voicework between the familiar, nicknamed Pan, and Lyra can be very confusing, because, although Lyra is a girl and Pan has a little boys voice, their voices are very similar, as is their delivery. Especially in the beginning of the game, it seems like Lyra is carrying on a conversation with herself. It takes a while to tune your ear to distinguish between them.

Lyra has a couple of other talents: one of which is that she lies to adults. (Yes, you read that right -- a children's game that encourages lying to adults in almost every conversation.) The "Deception Game", as it is called in TGC, involves playing a number of inane, random mini-games to determine how successful Lyra's lies will be. The minigames are things like: avoid the red dots, get the gold dot past the moving red bricks, smash the red dots when they turn green -- you get the idea. It's simply abysmal.

Lyra's other skill is soothsaying by interpreting the motions of a clockwork device inscribed with 36 symbols, called an Alethiometer. Each of the symbols can have one of three different meanings -- meanings which you are to discover using your ermine familiar. Throughout the game, you will be presented with questions that you can attempt to answer with your alethiometer. There is a worthless minigame here that is very easy if you know all three symbols representing your question, but gets progressively more difficult if you are missing one or two symbols. The answers to the questions are sometimes required to progress the story, but are more often a feeble way of providing exposition -- and much of that is information you either didn't need or already knew if you've been paying attention to the storyline.

Occasionally, Lyra will get into a scrape where she has to play a sort of dodging game with her opponent. In other words, a D-pad direction will show up on the screen and you have to press it. If done successfully, the opponent will miss you and hurt themselves on the scenery. Yeah, I've already said enough. *Sigh*

Iorek is a fighter character. He can guard with the A button, attack with up to a three hit combo using the X button if standing still, rush an opponent or breakable object with the X button while moving, pick up an opponent using A+X and occasionally perform a special attack using Y. If you smash enough objects or enemies, you will charge up a power attack with the B button that pretty much just knocks everyone down. That's it. When you play Iorek you are pretty much just mashing the X button. There's no real depth of play here. And to make things worse, if you are moving the character even slightly when you press X, it counts as a rush instead of a hit, which can get really annoying when all you are trying to do is make the bear face his opponent.

Given the above, is there any reason to play this game? Not really. If you've seen the movie or read the book, then there's nothing new here in terms of story. If you just want some easy Gamerscore, you can get about 700 or so playing through the story for a very frustrating, eight to twelve hours. (The additional points will require a LOT of cursoring over the environment on every level using the ermine dæmon's ability and the completion of a secret challenge on each level.)

So, if you really want to play through the story because you don't get out much and don't want to be seen entering the theater to watch an arguably blasphemous children's flick, then take your licks and rent this sucker. The story is interesting enough to suffer a single play through if you are that desperate to go through it. Otherwise, leave this one behind.

This one gets 2 rotten cabbages out of 10. Yeah, it stinks.

Call of Duty 4: Finished it on Veteran!

2007-12-12T10:39:00.000-06:00

I did it! It took some work, but I did it.

And... for those of you who read yesterday's post, I was able to get a checkpoint at the blast doors the second time I got there.

I'm not sure, but I think I may have triggered the checkpoint by picking up one of the flash grenades sitting in the alcove to the left of the blast doors. I was desperate to trigger a checkpoint and threw a flash at random so that I could pick up one that was laying on the ground. I picked it up and *checkpoint*!

I wasn't using flash grenades when going through that level (maybe I should have) so the other few times I'd gotten to the blast doors, I wasn't able to pick any of the grenades up.

Of course, there could be another explanation -- I had over 3:20 on the countdown clock when I got to the blast doors that last time -- almost a minute more time than I'd had on any prior run. It may be that they don't count the checkpoint if there isn't a reasonable amount of time left to complete the level.

Call of Duty 4: Arrrrgggghhhhh!

2007-12-11T19:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, anything I said about the hardest level on a videogame is now reduced to nothing with my latest CoD4 veteran experience.

I spent over FIVE HOURS last night trying to get beyond a single checkpoint. And if the game had done a decent, reasonable checkpoint, I would have been far beyond it now.

The level, and I'm sorry, but I don't know its name at the moment, has a timer going throughout. You start with something like 22 minutes and work your way into a missle launch facility as quickly as possible. After about ten minutes of infiltration, I found myself below ground, working my way toward the launch control center. The first part underground was rather difficult, but not too horrible -- it took me, maybe, 20 tries at the most. I got a checkpoint as I ran into an unoccupied corridor with 5:42 left on the clock. (My checkpoint actually happened just before the corridor, point-blank in front of an evil dude, but let's ignore the bad checkpoint for the moment.)

From this dark corridor, you go to the end and turn left into a well lit corridor with channels leading off to the left and right. The way ahead is blocked by boxes that you cannot jump over. Enemies can enter the fray from behind the boxes and from both the left and right channels. And every direction is occupied by multiple enemies.

I spent from 6:00 PM last night until 12:30 PM -- 6½ hours -- just trying to get past this one part.

And here's the kicker. Twice last night (only twice in 6½ hours) I reached a safe place where my team reunited and had a quick conversation. A cut-scene basically.

NO CHECKPOINT.

Are you freakin' kidding me? A spot that takes a decent player over three hours on average to get to, it's safe, and you don't mark a checkpoint?!?!?

Yes, I know the level is timed, so maybe they don't want to checkpoint you when you are low on time, but I got to that part with 2:35 on the clock the first time, which should be plenty of time to complete the last segment of this insane level. Since I didn't know quite what to expect, I died almost immediately after that. (Before setting the breaching charge, for those that have played this part already.) The second time, three hours later, after clearing the room, I was lost and not sure where to go to set the breaching charge. I set the breach and with 65 seconds remaining tried to Rambo my way into the control room and died. (Stupid! I could have probably let my team and the team entering from the other side clean up with time to spare...)

I'm going to try it again right now. We'll see if I have my sanity intact tomorrow morning...

Call of Duty 4: How I beat "One Shot Kill" on Veteran

2007-12-10T16:55:00.000-06:00

Call of Duty 4 on Veteran is getting insane! Three bullets and you are reading an obscure quote on the nature of war.

My most recent conquered nemesis in this game was the "One Shot Kill" level. Making the actual kill is fun, but after that, it gets incredibly hard. Here's my experience with the end of this whacked-out level.

First off you find yourself in a parking lot near some apartment buildings. You have a sniper rifle and a pistol. There are high-radiation zones on all sides, and there are dudes pouring out of buildings and helicopters coming from all sides to kill you.

It took me around 30 tries (no, seriously, 30 tries) to figure out that my best bet was to run to the right through some bushes to find some school buses, wait for three guys to come running between a gap between the buses and a building and pop 'em. Then run toward an apartment building marked by your compass, taking your chances at no-scoping a couple of guys as you sprint for the doorway.

Checkpoint. (*whew*!)

You run through the ground floor of the apartment building to emerge in a courtyard. An event happens (awesome, but I don't want to spoil it) and your partner is now left without the use of his legs. You now have to work your way toward the rendezvous site by carrying him a little ways, dropping him strategically, fighting some baddies and moving on. This part isn't too bad -- you go through an outdoor area and then through another apartment building with a couple of checkpoints in-between.

Then it gets really ugly.

You exit a building into an area where a travelling amusement park has been abandoned. You set your partner down as indicated on your compass and run about setting claymores to prepare for an onslaught.

You may have an automatic weapon now, but you really only need a sniper rifle and pistol for this part. It is extremely difficult. I found that placing a line of claymores CLOSE to your sniping position on the Ferris wheel (within the line of abandonded cars) helps immensely. (Thanks to The Evil Dad for this tip!) Take out as many baddies as you can at a distance, letting the claymores take out any that get close. You may have to revert to a pistol if anyone gets through the line of claymores, but if you are a fast shot and take out as many people in the distance as possible, you can do it.

And seriously -- having the claymores close in makes all the difference. When I first tried this part of the level, I had them out at the fence (about 50' out) and was getting killed all the time.

You kill the last guy and *Checkpoint*.

As you wipe your brow, your lame (in more ways than one) partner shouts out "Choppers comin'! Get ready."

Four or five helicopters fly in dropping four soldiers each and another 8-10 soldiers come running out of the apartment buildings. You can try to pick off some of the soldiers in the air as they drop down their rope lines, but you'll get eight of them at most due to the way the helicopters enter the area. In the main battle area, there is no safe place to hide. Most, if not all, of your Claymores have detonated. This is where it gets ugly.

I discovered that the only way I could finish this part and survive was to take the chicken's way out. Here's what I did:

From the checkpoint, I ignored the incoming helicopters, ran out into the middle of the battle area and exchanged my pistol for a sub-machine gun. I then ran to the white picket fence and laid a line of C4 satchels all along it. Then I ran to the apartment building on the right (as you face away from the Ferris Wheel) and hid in an L-shaped corner where I could peek back at the fence.

As the helos arrived, I used my sniper rifle to pick off anyone I could seen from around the corner. (This is important -- you need to get rid of as many of these guys as you can.) I was really just waiting for the rescue chopper to come in, but this was the only place on the map I could find where I could get some decent cover and still take out some bad guys. You end up sniping about 15 guys in and around the fence and bumper car arena. They will occasionally barrage you with grenades, but you are almost completely safe from them if you stay tucked around the corner when you see the grenade icon.

As soon as the rescue helo dropped, I switched to my C4 detonator and blasted everyone hanging out near the fence. (Remember those satchel charges?) I switched to my SMG and made a run for the helicopter, taking out any remaining bad guys between me and the helo that the Marines might have missed. After taking a brief, healing rest, I ran to my partner, picked him up for the last time and made a bloody, blind run for the helo.

*Checkpoint* and end of the chapter.

So far this has been the hardest level I think I have ever played in any videogame. I was so frustrated with the first wave of enemies (where you set the claymores) that I took a 20 day sabbatical from the game's Campaign! I was dumbfounded when I hit the checkpoint for it last night and realized the battle wasn't over.

Assassin's Creed: The End?

2007-12-07T11:00:00.000-06:00

I stayed up way too late last night to finish off Assassin's Creed.

At first I thought I'd go looking for some more flags, but after spending an hour in the Rich District of Acre and coming up blank, I decided to shift gears and go a head and finish the game.

Weirdness Ensues

I headed my horse into the Arsuf zone and something bizarre happened: none of the characters would fight back! Even worse, as I walked further into Arsuf, I heard battle noises and was getting hurt, even though there was no one around. I ran a little further down the road and saw some Saracens beating on a cliffside -- only I was getting hurt by each strike.

My character died and went into resync back at the start of Arsuf -- only this time, there were two of me! I had a dopplegänger mirroring my movements about 2 feet away. Again we found enemies that wouldn't fight back, but my twin started fighting me! I ran from him and dropped through the map into nothingness. After falling about 200 feet, the game registered my death.

Okay, too weird, and I don't think this is what Ubi intended. I dumped to the 360 Dashboard, reloaded the game and set out for Arsuf again. Same thing: enemies that don't fight back and weird zones where you can walk out of the world and fall to your death. After revival, I again had an identical twin nemesis.

It was about that time that I noticed I had a dancepad still plugged in as controller 2. I unplugged it, restarted the game and headed for Arsuf.

Aha! Now the archers were fighting back!

BIG TIP: Unplug or turn off any additional controllers when heading into Arsuf. Apparently, you enter some weird test mode when a second controller is attached to the game.

End Game?

NOTE: MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD

After you complete the encounter in Arsuf, you will have one additional battle -- one that you should have been able to predict, in part, by looking at the list of memory strands in the Animus.

You will go through a series of battles and then the goal of the Animus experiments on Subject 17 (Desmond) is revealed. You are jerked out of your memories and back into the lab.

If you've been following the story closely to this point, there are no great revelations here. Abstergo gets the locations of other pieces of Eden from your last memory fragment, Lucy is revealed to be a true friend, and you find out what happened (in several ways) to Subject 16, who leaves behind a plethora of "documentation", much of it referring to the end of the world, Templar symbology and chaos theory. You find messages written in Hebrew, Arabic and Chinese script. There are also some coded messages or gibberish written into simple geometric shapes. It's hard to know, which. There's even a two foot tall bar code of the value 1221-2012. (December 21, 2012 -- the date the Mayan calendar ends.) You will also find an email regarding horriffic events in Africa.

You are then left to wander the lab and replay any memories you wish to in the Animus.

But you are left without a resolution -- Abstergo got what they wanted, you are still a prisoner, and Lucy has only delayed your execution, not stopped it. You have the writings of a prior Animus test subject, all of which seems to point to Armageddon, but you have no idea if his writings are prophetic or simply the addled spewings of a mad conspiracy theorist.

It was 2AM back in my media center, the credits had rolled and the game had left me feeling hopeless.

Now, there's a possibility that there is more here -- it was just so late I didn't follow up a remaining possibility. Just before you go into your final memory, Lucy reveals something to you and encourages you that there is always hope. The last memory in the Animus has a "Play" arrow on it (like the transport control on a CD player.) Could there be more there? I really hope so. I just can't see the game ending where it has. Plus, I've talked to Lucy at every chance and not gotten the "Conversationalist" achievement, so maybe... just maybe...

I'll let you know what I find out.

Assassin's Creed: Dealing with Templars

2007-12-05T19:56:00.001-06:00

By far, the most difficult enemies you will regularly encounter while playing Assassin's Creed are the Templars. There are 60 of them spread through out the game -- about ten in each of the major cities (Acre, Damascus and Jerusalem) and another thirty or so in the Kingdom area. They are easily identified by their white robes with a red cross on their chest and silly-looking, canister-shaped helmets.

These guys are tough. By comparison, I can drop any guard in the game with a single thrown knife, yet these guys will still come running at you after sinking four knives into their chests. There are really only two ways to deal with these guys:

Stealth -- Fortunately for you, if you can catch a Templar unaware, you can slip your hidden dagger into his back and be done with him. Templars always are found with a chest* behind them, which can sometimes make a stealth approach difficult, but not impossible.

If the Templar has his back to a wall, you can often hang from the wall, equip your hidden blade and then select the "Assassiate" option by hitting the X button. It's one of the coolest kills in the game.

I've also found that if the Templar is looking straight ahead with his back to a corner, that I can sneak up on him by hugging a wall to either side of him without him noticing. Once you are behind him, show him the purpose of your blade.
Brute Force -- When stealth fails (or isn't possible) you are going to have to fight these guys. The fights are ugly. You can't combo-kill them, they break through your defense posture, and they throw you around like a rag doll at every opportunity. My best approach to taking these guys down in this situation is:

Only slash once with your sword and immediately block. (Combo kills fail, because the Templar will almost always counter your second strike.)
Try to get a counter in using RT or RT+X
Jump away using RT+A
Do your best to grab him after his first hit and throw him to the ground! If you can get him to fall, then run to him and stab like a madman.

One bonus to dropping a Templar is that your sync bar will immediately refill, which can be a welcome event if you encounter a Templar accidentally while fighting off (or running from) a group of guards.

Another benefit is that the Templar is permanently retired from the game and you are one step closer to getting the Personal Vendetta achievement.

* The chest is the game's recognition of the Templar's creation of modern banking. They were the first to allow you to deposit money or gold in one place and withdraw it from another after presenting a draft or check. The system was initially put in place as a way of protecting pilgrims during the Crusades. Highwaymen would have nothing to steal if travellers deposited funds with the Templars before beginning their pilgrimage.

MASS EFFECT: A Critical Look Backward

2007-12-05T18:29:00.000-06:00

I finished my first run through of Mass Effect on Sunday. Overall, it is a wonderful game. Yeah, it had it's moments when the framerate would slow to zero, but it never locked up on me, and those moments were reasonably rare. (And, honestly, about as common as in KOTOR and KOTOR II -- only the old Xbox would lock up.)

I do have one negative observation, and it's not a big one, but I feel that they skimped on the story somewhat when comparing this game to KOTOR or Jade Empire. My first run through KOTOR took 106 hours. No, seriously -- I still have the gamesave. I finished Mass Effect in about 38 hours -- and that included exploring every single planet, exhausting every Paragon dialog tree I could find, and revisiting all of the dialogable characters on all of the major planets at least twice (I was at the Citadel at least six times.) Add to that the fact that almost a third of that time was spent exploring maps, and we are looking at a significantly smaller story.

Understand that I loved the exploration angle of the game, and the fact that every line of dialog was spoken and acted out beautifully only contributes to my affection for this title. Not only that, but finishing the game was a satisfying experience (unlike Halo 2.) I just see, in comparison to prior BioWare efforts, a shortfall on the breadth of story options presented. While there were some very exciting side-quests and great multi-tiered moral dilemmas (especially on Noveria!), most of the side quests were fairly simple and quick to finish, again in comparison to KOTOR and JE, where the side quests tended to be rather involved.

And there were a couple of places where the story fell short for me -- where I felt like the game teased me to open up new story lines that never appeared:

Shadow Broker: I was approached at one point to provide some data to the Shadow Broker, which I did (Renegade!) And it seemed as if there would be a continuing subplot involving this mysterious information trader. But nothing else ever happened. Maybe I missed a trigger point somewhere (possible, but doubtful) or maybe when I play through as a true renegade more possibilites will open up. But this plotline felt like it got dropped on the floor shortly after I left the Citadel.
The Consort: I was sure that there would be an ongoing plotline here as well. But she was involved in two Citadel-only quests and then her plotline dropped as well. I was convinced that following the Paragon's Path would reunite me with her later in the game, but she disappeared after solving the problem with the slandered Elcor.
Hansen (the drunk in Chodda's Den): I never did find a real plot line involving this guy. Did I just miss it? He's a topic of conversation with the mechanic beneath the Med Center, but I couldn't figure out where he fit into the story. It's possible the quest involving him was so short, I don't remember it, but man, it must have been totally insignificant. Or maybe I triggered something with my explorations that short-circuited his part. Anybody else experience something different with him?

Edit: I've since learned that I didn't get the Hansen storyline because my character was an orphan. Interesting!

Again, I think this is a wonderful game, and I plan on playing it through at least two more times after I've gone through the glut of November releases. My complaints here are minor. They just serve to show that the game isn't perfect and to contrast this title against the shadows of prior BioWar giants. Be assured, Mass Effect has safely joined their ranks.

Now it's back to my second most anticipated game of 2007: Assassin's Creed. I'm on Day 6 and should have a retrospective for you all by the weekend.

In the meantime, look for another tip on Mass Effect and several for Assassin's Creed as the week progresses.

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #5 -- Licenses

2007-12-03T19:37:00.000-06:00

One of the most convenient things in Mass Effect is having a store on board the SSV Normandy. It's a great place to sell your high level gear to pump up your credit balance.

It can also be a source for the very best weapons in the game (Spectre gear Mark X) if you play things right.

The key to getting at that high-profile gear is licenses. Throughout the game, you will find vendors selling licenses for various manufacturers. Buy every one of these you find. These licenses provide your Quartermaster the ability to procure weapons, armor and upgrades from those manufacturers. Not all vendors will have licenses for you to buy at first, but each will have at least one to offer throughout the game.

The vendors that have licenses can be found in the following locations:

Citadel Presidium -- Financial District: A Hanar sells a limited selection of goods here.
Citadel Wards -- C-Sec Academy: The C-Sec supply officer
Citadel Wards -- Upper Market: A Volus has a stall here
Citadel Wards -- Lower Market: A Salarian has a stall here.
Citadel Wards -- Medical Center: The human doctor with a shady past
Noveria -- Look for an Elcor in the middle of the Cafeteria
Feros -- The only Salarian on the planet offers his wares in a discreet corner

You can collect all the licenses if you follow this simple procedure:

While at the Citadel, visit all of the vendors and buy a license from anyone who offers it. (Licenses are listed under [Standard Items] and are usually at the bottom of the list.) Note that you will not be able to purchase items from the C-Sec officer until after you have been enlisted into the Spectres.
During each major plot segment, visit the vendor posted there (Noveria, Feros) and see if a license can be purchased.
After the completion of each major plot segment (Citadel, Rescue Liara, Noveria, Feros, Virmire), revisit each of the vendors you've met so far. They will each have new stock, often including a license. Always buy the license first!

As long as you are leveling your character up at a decent rate by exploring in between missions, you should end up getting all of the licenses. You'll know you have them when the Normandy Quartermaster starts selling you Mark X Spectre weapons, like the HMSR X Sniper Rifle.

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #4 -- Romance

2007-12-03T10:53:00.000-06:00

Like all BioWare RPGs, Mass Effect has a romance subplot that you can explore. Unlike other BioWare RPGs, though, in this game you can only romance a single character at a time. Once you've advanced past a certain point in the romance plot, any other characters are locked out. The romance subplot is not as deep as it is in other BW games, but it has a double pay-off: a romantic interlude is played out in-game and you can earn an achievement for it.

There are three romanceable characters in Mass Effect: Kaiden, Ashley and Liara. You are given a hint at this in-game -- as you approach any of these characters aboard the SSV Normandy, there is a short cut-scene where the characters exchange longing glances.

Let's look at each and what's required to romance them.

Kaiden

Kaiden is an appropriate love interest if you have a female Shepard. You can enter into the romance subplot by approching him on the second deck of the Normandy and making personal inquiries. Respond to him as a potential lover, not a captain, which generally means selecting all of the answers at the 1:30 and 10:30 positions on the dialog wheel.

You will need to talk to him immediately after gaining access to the Normandy and after every major mission. (Major missions are those that are flagged on the galaxy map, such as Noveria.) Be sure to go to him after every mission and make a few checks in-between.

Finally, make sure Kaiden doesn't get killed. Without spoiling anything, realize that there are two places toward the end of the game where you either may or will be sacrificing Kaiden or Ashley. Make sure that it's Ashley that is put in danger, not Kaiden!

Also, if you get Liara early in the game, do not follow any lines of dialog along the lines of "I want to know more about you" as this line of dialog could preclude romance with Kaiden.
Ashley

Ashley can be romanced by a male Shepard. Like Kaiden, you need to talk to her about personal matters on the Normandy after every major engagement (including the completion of the Citadel main quest where you gain access to the Normandy.) All of the comments above that apply to Kaiden apply here: don't let her get killed and don't follow the romance track with Liara. Ashley can be found on the third deck of the Normandy, cleaning weapons.
Liara

Liara can be romanced by a male or female Shepard.

In order to get the romance quest to work, you will need to rescue Liara as soon as you leave the Citadel. If you take on any other major plot quest (such as Noveria) before rescuing her, you can kiss this romance goodbye.

Once she's been rescued, you will need to talk to her about personal issues after every major mission. Always use the 1:30 and 10:30 responses on the dialog wheel. She can be found on the second deck of the Normandy in the closet (?!?) at the back of the Medical Lab (where Dr. Chandra works.)

As with Kaiden and Ashley, you will need to ignore your character's other romantic interest (Kaiden for females, Ashley for males) until the sparks are flying with Liara.

Unlike Kaiden and Ashley, you will not have to worry about keeping Liara alive. If you've gotten to her early and made all of the amorous advances on time, this one is a slam-dunk.

One other thing to note: If you've already established a relationship with Kaiden or Ashley and that character gets killed, you cannot use Liara as a fallback to finish the romance quest. Trust me, I've tried. :(

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #3 -- Thresher Maws

2007-11-30T11:47:00.001-06:00

One of the most annoying enemies you will come across while exploring planets in Mass Effect is the Thresher Maw. These sandworm-like creatures have an acid attack that ignores your shields and a one-shot attack that will kill your party instantly, no matter how healthy your Mako is. When you first meet up with them, you will probably find yourself using up lots of OmniGel to restore your Mako -- or, even worse, getting killed and losing whatever progress you've made in the level.

I've learned a few things about these evil creatures that you might find useful. I can now survive most Thresher attacks without using any OmniGel. So here are my tips for "Defeating a Thresher Maw for fun and XP."

When you first meet a Maw, leave the area and save your game. You don't want to lose any progress you've made on the planet so far! Get in your vehicle, if you aren't in it already and head out of the battle area. (The battle area of a Maw is limited to the flat, somewhat circular area you find her in.) Try to get out of it's line of sight, because it can still use it's acid attack on you if it can see you.
If you get hit with acid, leave the area and use your OmniGels. It only takes two or three acid hits to destroy your Mako, so repair as soon as you can.
Stay in your vehicle. The Maw moves too quickly for you to even think about attempting to take her down on foot. Check you Codex entry on Thresher Maws for more information.
The basic plan of attack is to move around the outer edge of the flat area and shoot at the Maw whenever she shows herself. If the Maw is facing away from you, stop your Mako, zoom in with the left trigger and take a few shots. As soon as she starts to move her head and sink back into the ground, move to a new position along the periphery.
If the Maw is facing you, do not stop, or at least be ready to move and play some chicken with a blob of acid. When you will see her rear her head back, move! She will be shooting acid your way. Move laterally (across, not toward or away) and the acid should miss you.
When the Maw is underground, you should be moving. Period. As I said earlier, try to stay along the periphery of the battle area, but still on the flat part. As long as you are on the flat portion, she will continue to appear and fight. I tend to pick a direction (clockwise or counter-clockwise) and stick with it for the entire battle.
Never move toward her last position -- always drive away from her. Driving toward her is about the same as staying in one place -- she'll kill you in one shot with her attack from below.
Never move toward the Maw when she is exposed. This is basically suicide. If you are close enough for her to perform a melee attack, you will die in one or two hits. This thing has no respect for shields.
Toward the end of the battle it will seem as if you aren't doing any damage. Somehow, these creatures' skins get tougher as their health gets weaker. Just keep plugging plasma bolts into her and running away. You'll eventually bring her down.

That's it. The main thing is to save first, keep moving, keep shooting, gel in a safe place if you need to, and never move toward her.

Good luck on your next big kill!

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #2 -- Exploration

2007-11-29T16:05:00.000-06:00

Once you've left the Citadel, which can take up to 15 hours or more if you are thorough, you have the choice of following the main quest tasks, resolving your Additional Assignments, or just exploring. As it turns out, all of these involve exploration to some degree.

The game has two different exploration experiences: System Exploration and Terrestrial Exploration. We'll take a look at both today.

SYSTEM EXPLORATION

System exploration involves exploring a solar system to discover resources, vehicles (plot/combat areas) and other hidden objects.

You should engage in the System Exploration task every time you enter a new solar system, regardless of how you got there. (Main story line, Additional Assignments or random system hopping.) To find everything a system has to offer, follow these steps:

EXAMINE UNEXPLORABLE PLANETS

Move your cursor over every planet or moon on the map and select "Travel" with the [A] button. If the planet has "Scan" as an option, do it. You will find some form of resource or artifact, which will work toward completion of your resource/artifact tasks. If the planet has a "Land" option, take note of it and move on for now -- it's easier to keep track of things if you complete all of your System Exploration tasks before taking on a planetary exploration.
LOOK FOR HIDDEN OBJECTS

Many systems have one or more hidden features, such as ships or mineral-laden asteroids. These objects will give themselves away with a quick flash of light every few seconds. (The rotational speeds of these objects are fairly slow, so the flash can take five seconds or more to repeat.) Slowly move your cursor over the whole system looking for the flash. If you see it, move the cursor over to the flash and you should get the prompt "Unknown Object". Select "Scan" from the menu to find out what it is. If it is an asteroid, you can scan it again to obtain the resource or artifact that it contains. If it is a ship, you will probably be presented with the "Board" option. Take note of the object and move on until you've finished looking for hidden objects.

You can shortcut this process a little bit by being proactive: many of the asteroid belts in the game contain hidden objects. Rather than waiting for the glint of light, you can run your cursor over the entire belt looking for the "Unknown Object" prompt. Note that not all asteroid belts have hidden objects and not all hidden objects are in asteroid belts -- so you still need to be patient and look for flashes, but it's kind of fun zipping around the belts trying to see if you can find something interesting.
BOARD ANY VEHICLES

Vehicles will be highlighted with a cluster of four diamonds on the map. (Note that some vehicles are visible when you enter the map, others are hidden and need to be discovered as described in step 2.) Boarding a vehicle will play out like entering a building on a planet or moon. There are usually plot points associated with them. Note that if you are just randomly exploring, you may be opening up task plotlines that you have not yet been given. This isn't a big deal in terms of completing the game, since your log will clue you in on what to do next, but you do miss out on any conversations that would have normally initiated the mission.
LAND ON ANY EXPLORABLE PLANETS

Landing on a planet (using the "Land" option on the wheel menu) will initiate one of two scenarios: You will either end up in a main plotline area like a city or settlement or you will land on the surface in your rover, the Mako. Plotline areas will play out like the Citadel, only with a lot more shooting. :) If you land on the surface, then you are now prepared to do Terrestrial Exploration.

TERRESTRIAL EXPLORATION

Terrestrial Exploration involves moving around the mission area of a planet or moon, investigating marked objects, discovering hidden objects, fighting off Thresher Maws and exploring buildings.

While your first inclination will be to race the Mako to each of the points on the map, I'm going to suggest that you take a more organized approach to exploration. This more measured approach will help you finish your Additional Assignments more quickly, avoid backtracking and earn you beaux coups credits.

There are hidden points of interest on every planet/moon that you can land on. Most of these are mineral deposits. Not only do you gain experience from surveying these deposits, but you also earn credits on an escalating scale. Every new deposit you find will pay you more money than the previous one.

I've also found hidden anomlies, bases and downed probes. So you can't assume that the map shows everything.

The only way to find these hidden items easily is by using the Mako's RADAR. So let's look at how you go about doing this:

The first thing to notice when you land on a planet is that the mission area is always the same size -- and it turns out that it is only slightly larger than twice the area covered by the Mako RADAR. This means that you can conduct a full planetary survey by running around the inner perimeter of the mission area and then running to the center of the map.

So here's what you do:

As soon as you land, go to the map screen. For now, ignore anything already marked on the map. Use the map marker and mark a position that is a quarter of the way in from the nearest corner. For your first time, just guess, or even mark the corner itself.

Now leave the map screen and head for the marker in the Mako, watching the RADAR more than the landscape. As you approach the edges of the mission area you will see parts of the radar go reddish-orange. Move away from that boundary until it shows up as a thin line on either the right or left side of your RADAR. Now, continue moving toward the marker, keeping the boundary you found as the tiniest of marks on one side of the RADAR until you come upon another boundary at the top of your RADAR. (You may need to re-orient the RADAR/viewport using the right stick.) When you get situated so that you have two VERY thin red lines on two sides of the RADAR, go to your map and note the Mako position. This is the correct distance to set your marker from any corner while conducting survey.

From the map screen, set a new marker to an adjacent corner of the map.
From the Mako, travel toward the marker keeping the left or right boundary as the thinnest of lines on your RADAR. As you drive watch the RADAR for any objects that might show up. Anything that shows up THAT IS NOT ALREADY SHOWING ON THE MAP needs to be surveyed/investigated. When your investigation is complete, return to where you left the original imaginary path and continue toward the marker. (Always keeping the border as a thin line on your left or right side.)
When you reach the marker, head straight for the corner of the map until the corner shows up on the RADAR. This will catch any items hidden in corners -- and there are a few.
Head back to the marker position.

Repeat the above steps until you have surveyed all four sides of the map and all four corners.

Most maps have two or three hidden items. Most of them will be mineral deposits that you will need to survey before they show up on the map. Luna (Earth's moon) is an exception -- all of it's hidden features are enemy bases.

Once you've completed your surveys, you can investigate the other items that were originally marked on your map.

ANOMOLIES (question mark icon)

These can be alien structures, crashed ships or bodies. Anomolies provide equipment or artifiacts that you can collect.

Note that some anomolies are near enemy outposts or Thresher Maws. Be prepared!
DEBRIS (stacked brick icon)

These are usually probes that have fallen out of orbit or crashed ships.
These will always yield equipment if you have high enough electronics skills.

Debris will sometimes be guarded by enemy agents or Thresher Maws.
PLOT POINT (exclamation point icon)

So far, these have always been enemy outposts or distress beacons.

Outposts will be buildings that are usually heavily guarded with a combination of soldiers and rocket artillery or soldiers and snipers in towers -- I haven't yet seen an installation with rockets and sniper towers.

Your strategy will vary with the type of protection. If the installation has rockets, then stay in the Mako and find a position where you are exposed to only one rocket launcher at a time, if possible. You can easily identify these on the Mako RADAR as the rocket emplacements are marked by red diamonds.

This is where the Mako shields come into play. Be bold. Drive up to the launcher such that you can get it's on-screen health assessment in your sensors and start firing, but don't get too close or the Mako's gun won't be effective. You can usually fire on the installation and play chicken with the rockets if you are far enough away. Pay CLOSE ATTENTION to your shields. As soon as the Mako shields get down to one or two bars, high-tail it out of there and find a place to recover. Note that the rocket launcher will be restoring it's shields and may perform repairs, so don't wait too long. If there aren't any ground troops, you can usually take out a rocket without losing much shield at all. Just be bold, use the left trigger sight, and hammer away with SHORT BURSTS to avoid overheating your weapon. Once youve eliminated the rockets, you can take out the ground troops with the Mako, or get out of the Mako ([B] button) and pick them off with your team, which is typically more effective.

If you have to deal with sniper towers, it is better to make a ground offensive, especially if you have trained snipers on your team. Take out the snipers first, get in the Mako to get close, and then mop up any remaining resistance.

MASS EFFECT: Tip Sheet #1 -- Miscellaneous Beginner Stuff

2007-11-28T10:56:00.000-06:00

Here are some tips I've discovered to help along your Mass Effect Experience.

ALWAYS HAVE A CHARACTER WITH ENGINEER SKILLS IN YOUR PARTY

The engineering skill has two talents that are vital to exploring the Milky Way: Electronics and Decryption. The electronics talent is used to unlock most containers, including probes that have fallen to the ground. The Decryption talent is used for unlocking containers that use encrypted data locks, such as computer terminals and secure containers. If you want to have lots of cash and omnigel, you are going to need to be able to open any container you come across and these two skill enable that.
MAX OUT YOUR ENGINEERS' ELECTRONICS AND DECRYPTION TALENTS BEFORE ALL OTHERS

This is related to the first tip -- once you start jumping off the main questline and begin exploring, you will immediately come upon probes and secured containers that require high talent levels in either electronics or decryption. Not having a high enough skill means that you cannot open the container (even with OmniGel) until you have raised the required talent level and returned to the container location. Even then, the original failed attempt will require that you use some of your valuable OmniGel to open the container. There are no second chances at the button mashing minigame.
MAX OUT YOUR MAIN CHARACTER'S CHARM OR TAUNT TALENTS WHENEVER POSSIBLE

There are dialog options fairly early in the game that require the maximum charm/taunt points to be applied for the options to be available. If you see a darkened charm/taunt in the dialog ring, it means you don't have ennough points applied to that talent -- and you won't be able to choose those options. So always level up your conversation skill of choice, ignoring all other skills, whenever there is a free space available. If not, you could miss key opportunities to increase your Paragon or Renegade status.
IN THE EARLY STAGES OF THE GAME, TURN UNWANTED GEAR INTO OMNIGEL -- DON'T SELL IT.

You are going to need OmniGel when you go exploring to fix your rover. You are also going to need it to open containers whenever you bungle the button-mashing mini-game. You can carry up to 999 OmniGels, so don't be afraid to gel everything you can get your hands on. (When driving the rover, it will look like you can only carry 99 OmniGels, but the Equipment screen will show you the actual number you are carrying.) My rule of thumb is to convert any equipment with a Mark I, II or III value and sell anything with a Mark IV rating or higher.
DECIDE ON TWO COMPANION CHARACTERS EARLY IN THE GAME AND STICK WITH THEM

Not only will this get you two achievements at the end of the main quest (using XXX character 85% of the time) but it also simplifies your decisions about what equipment to gel or sell. For example, my A-team is Ashley and Tali -- a Human and a Quarian. That means that I can sell or gel all Asari, Krogan and Turian armor that I find without begin too concerned. (I do occasionally re-outfit my other characters when I'm in the ship's bay, but I'm not overly concerned about it -- they are rarely needed except for specific missions.)

Also, my Shepard has no biotic abilities. Since Tali and Ashley also do not use biotics, I am able to gel/sell biotic pumps without regret.

What this leads to is that you can quickly re-outfit your main team from the equipment screen when you are planetside and immediately gel any unused, low-level equipment from the same screen. Unused high-level equipment (Mark IV and higher) should be sold -- unless you REALLY need the gel.

One other benefit: between your missions and the sales value of all the HQ equipment you aren't hoarding, you should find yourself earning the Rich achievement (over 1,000,000 credits in your account) in 20-25 hours of gameplay.One other note: you can only have 150 items in your possession at one time. That includes upgrades and ammo. So keeping your larder lean will also keep you from being forced to gel any equipment you scavenge.

CONVERSATION POINTERS:

Conversation options on the right side of the wheel usually lead to a conclusion/termination of the conversation. Options on the left tend to expand the conversation.
If you want the full experience, always select and thoroughly explore the "Investigate" option when it appears.
Slightly charming answers usually appear at the 1:30 position of the wheel. (Unless an Investigate option has opened up too many follow-up options.)
Slightly taunting answers usually appear at the 4:30 position of the wheel.
Very charming answers will appear in blue text at the 10:30 position when available. This is the best path to Paragon points and a non-violent resolution to a situation. If the option is grayed-out, you have insufficient Charm talent to exercise that option.
Highly taunting answers appear in red text at the 7:30 position when available. This leads to high Renegade points and potentially will start a firefight. If the option is grayed-out, you have insufficient Taunt talent to exercise that option.

MASS EFFECT: A Game with Two Minds

2007-11-27T13:55:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me know that I've been waiting on this game more than any other for two years now. I mean, it's a BioWare game that allows you to travel thoughout a sparsely-populated Milky Way Galaxy.

Well, it's been worth the wait. The game has some rare framerate issues that will bring the game to a temporary halt, but that is the only real complaint I can find with it.

The story is solid. The voice acting is superb. And the dialog ring interface is a quantum leap for adventure-style gaming.

As long as you stay on the main quest, the game has the deep, immersive feel of any other BioWare title. You go into a city or facility; talk to LOTS of people; solve puzzles; make moral decisions and engage in battles. This part of the game is extremely well-crafted. If the tasks seem trivial at times, the dialog associated with the task makes up for it.

Off the main quest, though, things are different -- which may put BioWare fans off at first until they understand that the exploration side-missions are meant to provide more of a sandbox experience. You can freely explore any planet in the system that allows you to land on it. There you will find a number of points of interest that you can drive your rover to and others that you can discover by just driving around and watching your radar. This is much more of an action experience. You engage in numerous battles, collect items and push portions of the story further, but there is very little exposition or dialog.

This let's you play Mass Effect according to your mood: when you are looking for the full-blown RPG experience, you play the main story line, where each city can have you engaged for 2-6 hours. When you just want to get into some action, you can either investigate a secondary mission or just pick a solar system at random and start exploring.

One caution that all adventure games should know, but still applies here in spades: SAVE YOUR GAME BEFORE AND AFTER EVERY BATTLE OR MAJOR MORAL DECISION. The game does auto-save, but it's rare, and usually means replaying over an hour of the story when you've bungled it. Going into a structure will usually provide an autosave, but an hour of wandering a landscape only to be gobbled up by a Maw will send you back in time to where you first landed on the planet if you haven't saved your game.

This is definitely a five-star title. The framerate problems are annoying but rare, and can almost be dropped from consideration.Be aware, though, I've seen the screen go still for up to five seconds and recover. So don't assume you have a lockup whenever the framerate goes to a standstill. I've put over 20 hours into this game and have not had it lock up on me yet.

Buy, buy, buy. This is the kind of title that requires you vote with your pocketbook so that publishers will keep coming out with this kind of expansive, high-quality title.

Assassin's Creed -- Achievement Tips

2007-11-27T12:15:00.000-06:00

EAGLE'S FLIGHT (20G)

This achievement requires that you stay in battle for at least 10 minutes. There are three fairly simple ways to do this:

THE CHEATER'S WAY

Go into the Kingdom and run to your nearest lookout point (any of the towers where you synchronize your area memory will do.) Simply pick a fight with a guard to attract his attention (don't kill him) and then quickly climb up the tower, avoiding any rocks that might get thrown at you. Once you are at the top of the tower, you will be safe, but the guard and his nearby buddies will continue to search for you indefinitely. Just take a bathroom break and grab a sandwich. 10 minutes later, voila! You have the achievement. You can now do a leap of faith from the tower and dispel all of the guards' pent-up rage as you slip away quietly.
THE COWARD'S WAY

Okay, so it's not as cowardly as #1, but it's still pretty cowardly. Again, go into the Kingdom and grab a horse. Get the guard's attention and then get on the horse. The trick here is to avoid the guards without getting too far away from them -- if you do, your suspicion level will go to zero and you'll have to restart the process. Try to stay in a fairly confined area that doesn't have any archers. (The entrance from Masayaf is perfect.) After ten minutes of displaying your fine horsemanship, you should have this one in the bag.
THE HERO'S WAY

If you have decent fighting skills and are fully in sync with Altaïr (all 20 bars in the DNA sync meter) you can get this achievement at the same time you complete the Eagle's Challenge achievement. (See below.) Killing 25 guards in a sane manner will take about ten minutes, so you can do both of these at the same time.

EAGLE'S CHALLENGE (20G)

While you can certainly try to Rambo this achievement, I've found that a more conservative approach, invloving a lot of running, works well here.

I recommend doing this in the Kingdom, starting in the cluster of villages in the North-central area. There are PLENTY of guards around, which you will need to accomplish this.

First off, realize that you can't kill every guard around you or you will end the fight, so always leave somebody alive and start running when the battle gets down to one or two guards.

Secondly, don't bite off more than you can chew. If you are surrounded by more than six guards -- RUN! You will eventually lose most of them.

Thirdly, be an opportunist: if you have a good lead on the pack and see a new guard who doesn't see you, switch to your hidden blade and jump him! You can then decide whether or not to switch back to your short blade or keep running.

So, with the above in mind, the plan is to pick a fight, get noticed, fight when the odds are in your favor (5 or fewer guards) and run when they aren't or when your synchronization (health) is low. If things get too crazy, find a tower and heal -- just don't do the leap of faith into a hay bale or you'll end the fight prematurely.

Also, Templars can be your ally here if you are gettin glow on synchronization. Killing a Templar will always refill your sync bar! And most guards will back off and watch a Templar fight. (Note that I said "most", not "all".) So if you are low on health and you have an uncaptured Templar nearby, take him on! I did just that after taking out 15 guards during my attempt at this achievement and it worked great.

Remember, when you are down to one or two guards, run away and try to attract the attention of more guards. This will also give you a chance to regain some sync.

Happy Hunting!

Wikiniscient

2007-04-16T15:09:00.000-05:00

I would like to publicly declare my coining of a brand new word (and its associated forms):

wi·ki·ni·scient /ˌwɪkiˈnɪ:ʃɛn̩t/ adjective; having great knowlege, awareness or insight into the inner workings, policies and politics of the English Wikipedia, or more generally, any wiki.

wi·ki·ni·science /ˌwɪkiˈnɪ:ʃɛns/ noun; the quality or state of being wikiniscient.

The term was first used, (as far as I can tell), here.

Woo-hoo!

The Godfather for Xbox 360

2006-10-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

Electronics Arts finally released the Xbox 360 version of The Godfather this month. (The game was originally released on last-generation consoles, including the Xbox, in March 2006.)

The Godfather is a sandbox game (ala: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City) set in Mario Puzo's violent vision of 1940's New York City. Playing through the story missions in the game, you are able to re-enact a number of scenes from the The Godfather movies, including the death of Luca, Sonny's bloody "typewriter" assassination and the horse's head in the bed. Without exception, the story missions were well-crafted and fun -- none of them felt like busy work -- a problem found any many sandbox games.

"This is a dangerous neighborhood. You could use some protection."

One of the cooler parts of the game is territory acquisition gameplay. This is a free-roaming part of the game where you take over territory by extorting business owners for protection money and take over various rackets for which the businesses act as fronts. You can employ a number of tactics to intimidate a shop owner: you can simply talk to them (if your reputation is high enough that's all that's necessary), you can hit them, grab them and shake them up, destroy their property, assault customers, destroy their window displays, etc. Each shopkeeper has a method of intimidation that they are weak to and finding that weak spot will earn you additional respect and a bigger stake in the business. You can also push a business owner too far -- then they'll fight back and can't be convinced by any means to come under your protection.

Your goal in all this (in addition to increasing your income and reputation) is to take over each of five territories: Little Italy, Brooklyn, New Jersey, Hell's Kitchen and Midtown. Each of these territories is initially controlled by one of the Five Families: The Corleones, Tartaglias, Straccis,

The game has an RPG aspect where various character attributes can be built up through the course of the game.

[[[text sadly ends here -- I'm not sure why this review was not finished]]]

Limerick: I think they met on the Internet

2006-08-25T12:20:00.000-05:00

The following was inspired by an advertising slogan I saw as I walked out of the Cool Springs Galleria Mall today:

He thought she was utterly fantastic
A woman so incredibly elastic
But the preacher did scoff
And the wedding was off
For she was made head to toe out of plastic

Revolution was such a good name

2006-08-24T13:30:00.000-05:00

I was just having a conversation with A Vicarious Nin over the Xbox Live Messenger service about the Nintendo Wii, (which we are both excited about), and the changes it will bring to the American Lexicon.

AS A VERB

First off, I see the word immediately taking on a verb tense:

"Yeah, I'm going to Wii as soon as I get home."

"Mommy, I gotta go Wii. I gotta Wii! Please let me Wii!"

"The best place to Wii is in your home theater."

"'To Wii or not to Wii', that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the financial assaults of Sony or submit to the will of a stereotyped Italian plumber..."

And you know it will someday come to:
"Like Microsoft says, it's good to Wii together."

AS A NOUN

Of course it is as a noun that wii, er, we, will see the most dramatic changes to everyday speech.

Nin suggested that Nintendo's advertising campaign should feature the music of Queen, with the rock anthems "Wii will, Wii will rock you!" and the suitable, but grammatically incorrect "Wii are the Champions". Hey, that's a better approach, in my opinion, than those wacky E3 promos.

In Great Britain, where the infantile word "wee" is considered the polite way of expressing urine -- I mean, of saying urine -- confusion and smiles are sure to abound. For example, consider this discussion, soon to be overheard in a posh London Cafe:

Gamer 1: "I've put my Wii inside my entertainment center."
Gamer 2: "Aren't you worried about heat? I leave my Wii on top of the telly."
Gamer 1: "Hmm... now that you mention it, my Wii does get rather warm -- and it's starting to smell funny."

But the greatest concerns of the noun tense are those that have a less savory nature.

The very first RSI injury that happens as a result of "playing with your Wii" is sure to raise a few eyebrows. And just how will it be possible to make the invitation "hey, come over to my place and we'll play with my Wii" without cracking a lecherous smile?

I believe that Nintendo USA has already rejected the following slogans:

"My Wii is my Playground"
"Nintendo: Because you have to Wii every day"
"Everyone wants to play with your Wii"
"Because every woman wants a man who knows how to handle his Wii"
"Wii: a hands-on experience"
"Wii: because size really doesn't matter"

Nintendo, are you sure this is the name you want to go with?

Dead Rising -- Wow!

2006-08-10T08:37:00.000-05:00

I spent a few hours with Dead Rising last night.

Wow.

No, seriously: "Wow."

This game has a strong story, hard emotional triggers and excellent gameplay -- once you've figured out how to play it.

Before that, it's an exercise in frustration.

As a public service, here are my quick tips for getting started with Dead Rising:

Plan your game around the save points. This is the most important tip. The game rarely auto-saves, so it's up to you. Here's what I do: When heading to an objective point, first look at your map and find the save point that is nearest your objective. (Most of the game's save points are in public restrooms, which can be found in the mall and in some shops, like the fitness center.) GO TO THE NEARBY SAVE POINT FIRST AND SAVE YOUR GAME! Then go find your objective. Now if something disastrous happens, you can restart the game without having to retrace your steps too much.

If your objective is a save mission, be sure to save your game in the security area as well.

If you've finished a boss battle, find the closest save point before going anywhere else.

If there is a save point along the path you are taking, use it. Having convenient saves to back to will dramatically improve your experience with this game.
Arm your survivors. Just before going in to make a rescue, stock up on weapons -- especially guns. Once your survivors have agreed to follow you, equip a weapon, face each survivor and press the [B] button to give them the weapon. Not all survivors will take weapons -- many women will opt to hold your hand instead. But for those that will accept the weapon, they are generally pretty good shots. I tend to give my survivors handguns and equip a good melee weapon for myself. This tip will drastically improve your success in securing survivors.
When a survivor dies, or a scoop expires, forget it and move on. Don't dwell on it -- this game intentionally gives you more goals than you can possibly accomplish -- at least, without the maintenance key.

This game is designed to be replayed. You can get the scoop on your next time through.
Always face Frank to the action. This is the key to getting good photos and for making the best of projectile weapons (like golf clubs and handguns.) For photos, Frank's lens is always facing in the direction his body faces, so to spend less time trying to get things in frame, face Frank toward the action before pulling the left trigger. For projectile weapons, facing your target is the easiest way to take them down without going into aim mode with the right trigger.
Prioritize your time in favor of the main story. If a rescue mission is going too long, abandon it and get to the objective point for the main scenes. If you don't, it will quickly be "Game Over" and there's nothing you can do about it.
Take lots of photos. Prestige Points (PP) are the key to leveling up in Dead Rising. Good photos can secure you plenty of points. I've gotten as much as 10,000 PP from a single photo.

As a side note, if you miss a good, triggerable photo opportunity where the "PP" icon appears above the heads of your survivors, it's often worth restarting from your last save to set up and get the shot. (Another reason to follow tip #1!)
Keep your camera batteries fresh. There are a few camera shops in the mall where you can reload your batteries. Get to know where all of them are and be sure to use them whenever you are nearby. (On your map, look for a rectangular battery icon with + and - terminals marked on it.) A dead camera battery can lose you a shot worth thousands of PP.
Review your special abilities often -- and USE them! As you progress through the game, you will learn new abilities. You can see your new moves and how to actuate them on the Skills screen in the Pause menu. (Press the [Start] button.) One of your earliest abilities, the Zombie Walk, can get you out of tough scrapes and is simple to learn. Later skills, like the Eviscerator, are just plain awesome to do. Don't get so caught up in the weapon gathering side of the game that you forget about your innate talents.
Use the Guide button and press "[Y] Go to Dashboard" to reload a saved game. Like so many Japanese PS2 games, there is no in-game option in Dead Rising for restarting from a save point -- without dying first, that is. "Go to Dashboard" is the more sophisticated Xbox 360 equivalent of the PS2's soft reset. Just hit "Play Game" once you're in the Dashboard to restart the game without ever getting up from your recliner.

I hope this helps. Following these tips can be the difference in your perceiving Dead Rising as an awesome game instead of a frustration fest.

The Death of a Video Game

2006-07-13T18:18:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd post a follow up on the research it took to find out whether the Xbox title Rent A Hero No. 1 was released in North America.

Here's the story, as best as I can piece it together from various sources around the web:

Rent A Hero No. 1 was a game centered around a teenager who moves into a new town and is mentored by a crazy old professor into becoming a Hero and saving the small town from impending disaster. The game had very quirky humor and was intended to appeal to audiences familiar with titles like Sierra's Space Quest series. The game was originally developed by Sega for the Dreamcast in 2000.

The Xbox version of the game, developed by Coolnet Entertainment, was licensed to Sega for distribution in Japan and International markets, but licensing for North American distribution was granted to AIA USA, Ltd.

At the 2003 E3 show, AIA received a large number of orders from retailers for the game, which was to be released in late summer that same year. But localization of the game into U.S. English suffered a number of production delays, pushing the street date out to February 2004. In September of 2003, there was a glut of Xbox titles languishing on retailer shelves, causing many retailers to cancel their orders for the delayed Rent A Hero. AIA found themselves finally ready to go into manufacturing with fewer than 10,000 units on order.

Unfortunately, Microsoft will not grant a license to any Xbox game targeted for North American sales that does not have retail support for at least 10,000 units. Microsoft would not allow Coolnet/AIA to go forward with the North American version until they had retail support for the minimum number of units.

In September 2003, AIA issued a press release stating that release of the game had been postponed:

On behalf of AIA USA, Ltd. we are regretful to say that Rent A Hero No.1 has been postponed. At this time we cannot give out a definite release date. Due to the market structure AIA was unable to release Rent A Hero No.1. It is an unfortunate matter that the market has changed so drastically in such a short period of time.

In late 2004, AIA USA, Ltd. was shut down by its parent company, AIA Japan.

The latest information I can find indicates that Coolnet is still looking for a new publisher and a strategic publication date for the title.

So, it turns out that despite any evidence to the contrary, the game was never released in North America. In fact, it has only been released in Japan. Release to all other international markets was also postponed.

In case you had any doubts...

2006-07-12T13:01:00.000-05:00

Cold Justice is a
Social Conservative
(38% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(73% permissive)

He is best described as a:

Republican

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Thanks to LoneStarGal for the link to this test.

Nooooooooo!!!!

2006-07-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it happened.

My launch Xbox 360 stopped reading discs.

No error messages. No blinking red lights. The whole system acts like it is normal.

Except it won't read any media I put in the DVD drive.

The odd thing is that the day before, I finally configured my 360 to boot to the Dashboard on start-up, rather than to whatever disc is in the drive. That's the only change. After a session of playing "The Outfit" with nin1939, I turned off the system and went to bed.

Then, yesterday afternoon, it started refusing to read from the DVD drive. I even reset the setting back to "Boot to disc", but I got no love.

I'm going to have to send the box in for repair -- and it will be another 3 weeks before I see it again.

Oddly, today is the first time I've posted to this blog since I received my 360 -- could there be a correlation?

Limerick of the day

2006-07-12T10:10:00.000-05:00

A gourmand of experimental bent
Created an intestinal scent
His rose-scented flatus
Was sure to elate us
But he soiled himself in the attempt.

Why do I always come up with this kind of thing while taking a shower?

The Xbox 360 is here!

2005-11-22T16:12:00.000-06:00

This just arrived. I haven't even opened anything up. But once this photo is posted, I'll be in 360 City for the rest of the night.

Look for the Gamertag "Cold Justice".

UPDATE: Quest for all North American Xbox titles

2005-08-16T11:41:00.000-05:00

This is an update to my previous "Why wasn't I informed?!?" posts.

F1 2001 does exist and was released on the Xbox. Xbox.com confirmed the title and I was able to find one on eBay. (Odd, because I've searched for it before on eBay and come up empty.)
According to two different sources, F1 2002 was not a North American Xbox release. EA had planned to release it but ended up only doing a PS2 version.
TransWorld Skateboarding is a dead project. It's sister projects, TransWorld Surf and TransWorld Snowboarding did get released. (These I already have.)
Conan The Barbarian was a PAL-only release.
Puyo Pop Fever is coming to the Xbox later this year.

Other games that I was missing:

Bionicle -- I swear I've looked into this one several times and could not verify that it was released. But I found it listed on Xbox.com and was able to find it on eBay.
Pro Cast Sports Fishing -- I had originally pre-ordered this title from Gamestop.com. They later informed me that they could not fulfill the order. From the way they worded their email, I thought the title had been cancelled. Nope! It just wasn't being carried by Gamestop.

Weird stuff on Xbox.com:

Shayde: Monsters vs. Humans -- Xbox.com shows this as a released title, but I can't get any information on it. Metro3D, the publisher, does not list the title on their site, and the link from Xbox.com to the "official game web-site" in Metro3D's domain is a bad link.
Armada 2: Star Command -- Another Metro3D title. Xbox.com claims it was released in February 2004, but again, Metro3D is silent and I can't find this sucker anywhere.
BC -- Still listed with a "2005" street date. The official word from Lionhead Studios is that everyone on the BC project was reassigned. It's not officially cancelled, just on hold.
Barbarian -- This one has me puzzled. I know that it was released in the UK, but I've found nothing outside of Xbox.com to support a North American release. Can any of y'all shed some light on this?
Rent a Hero No. 1 -- I could swear this one was cancelled, but Xbox.com claims it was released in February 2004.
Slam Tennis -- An Atari title that I can't find anywhere else but on Xbox.com. As far as I can tell, it's vaporware, though it may have been released in Europe.
Syberia II is listed on Xbox.com, but not Syberia. How weird is that? In fact, Syberia only shows up on one page on Xbox.com: The HDTV Expert Guide. (Syberia supports 720p and 1080i screen resolutions.) But there are no links to the game from that page.

If anyone has some insight beyond mine on any of these titles, please let me know!

The Next Generation Starts in Amsterdam at X05 - Xbox

2005-08-12T11:08:00.000-05:00

This just in: The Next Generation Starts in Amsterdam at X05 - Xbox

Why wasn't I informed?!? -- Part 2

2005-08-12T10:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, I just ran through EBGames.com's list of pre-owned titles -- and found that there are more that I've missed. This really bites my bum, because I've done this exercise several times before.

Here are the newly found missing children:

Test Drive Offroad: Wide Open -- This was my mistake. I thought this was the full title for Test Drive.
NBA Starting Five -- Dunno how I missed this. I certainly knew it was out there.
Freestlye Street Soccer -- Huh? Sports title: my eyes must have glazed over. Several times.
Mojo! -- Okay, this one really chaps my hide because I've researched it twice in the past year, and from what I could determine, it had only been released for PAL systems, not NTSC. Yet today, there it was, big as life, available on EBGames.com. It certainly wasn't there the last couple of times I looked.

Now I wonder about other titles that I thought were either vaporware or just not released in North America: was Conan The Barbarian ever released for NTSC? Did TransWorld Skateboarding ever make it onto the Xbox? Did F1 2001 and F1 2002 break the PS2 barrier? Is Puyo Pop Fever really an Xbox title?

EDIT: According to Xbox.com, F1 2001 was a launch title. I have not been able to find a copy anywhere. Looks like I need to make a new eBay bot.

Why wasn't I informed?!?

2005-08-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

Well, after spending a frustrating hour on 1up.com (it has the WORST GAME DATABASE INTERFACE EVER) I found out about two Xbox games I don't have -- and they are apparently a couple of real dogs:

WTA Tour Tennis -- the first tennis game released on the Xbox was a failed tribute to the Women's Tennis Association. This one does not show up on TeamXbox.com or Xbox.com, but it is on 1up.com and IGN.
WhiteOut -- A snowmobile game. I keep thinking I've heard of this, but it never made it into my database, or my collection. This shows up on TeamXbox.com as a "TBA" title, and most sites have not reviewed it, so I must have assumed it was vaporware.

I was able to order both from EBGames.com. I now feel like I'm playing Xbox Pok·é·mon: I gotta catch 'em all.

Looks like I need to do another exhaustive side-by-side comparison with all of the games sites again. It's gonna take days...

The really pathetic thing: as I look through the list of pre-played Xbox games on EBGames.com, I know with certainty every title that I have.

No wonder I haven't had a decent date in five years...

I AM an Uncle!

2005-08-12T09:35:00.000-05:00

Let it be known to all that Kathryn Elise Abraham was delivered this morning via C-section at approximately 5:30 AM PDT today. She weighed in at just under 8 pounds and appears to be very healthy. Grandma says she's a beauty with fair skin and reddish-brown hair.

My sister was still in recovery, last I heard, but it seems that despite a few complications, all is well.

The Wall O' Games

2005-08-11T14:01:00.000-05:00

I had a little task to do for XboxRated.com and ended up taking all of my Xbox games out of their cabinet. For fun, I stacked them so that I could take another picture for y'all.

With the exception of Cold Fear, which is still on sabbatical at The Frozin One's place, every Xbox title released in North America as August 11, 2005 is represented.

That's 637 titles.

I put the second-generation Steel Battalion controller in front to help give you a sense of how huge this collection has become. (Plus, it just looks cool.)

A few things to note:

On the left side of the picture are 36 titles that are in GameStop sleeves. The were bought used and came with no manual or case. (Actually, one of them is Frogger Beyond, which is in a CD case and came from a vendor on eBay. It seems that title cannot be found at any major retailer.)
If you zoom in, you will notice that the titles are upside-down (except for twenty or so in the left-most stack.) This is because my games are sorted by title and stacking them with the spines upside-down is the only way to get them back in the case alphabetically when they are stacked three deep.
The titles that aren't upside down are in my "now playing" list, or were recently played when Frozin & Family came over for the weekend.
If there is a "Limited Edition" release of a game, then the library includes that version of the release. (With the exception of Halo 2 -- I have both versions for LAN gaming.) Same comment for Morrowind, I only have the Game of the Year edition, not the original release. (Though, oddly, I have a copy of the original release manual -- somebody at EBGames screwed up and put the wrong manual in one of my pre-owned titles.)
There are chairs behind the stacks which help support them.
The right-most stack has 81 games in it. I got less ambitious as the stacks built to the left.
Before the picture was taken, I had one minor fall -- about ten games from one column.
After the picture was taken, I had seven separate stack falls involving over 200 games.
Yes, I intentionally waited for X-Play to come on so that Morgan Webb's face (and only her face) would show just above the WOG. I was in the mood to jerk SlickMoney's chain. :)

EDIT: I just found out that there are six games missing from my database, and therefore, my collection. *sigh* I'll find some other way to photograph the monster (no, Slick, not Morgan Webb) once I have them ALL.

I'll be an uncle soon...

2005-08-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

As I write this, my sister is in labor. Woo-hoo!

The Joys of Recess

2005-08-01T12:17:00.000-05:00

No matter what you may think of John Bolton, President Bush did the right thing this morning in making a recess appointment.

For almost six years now, the Senate has been playing a childish game of keep-away rather than exercising their Constitutional duty to approve or dis-approve Presidential appointments. Rather than doing their job and going on record with a vote, they have pushed each mildly controversial nominee into a state of filibuster. Note that I said a "state of filibuster" -- these aren't real filibusters like you saw in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. No, these are fake filibusters. No one stays up all night. No one misses dinner. And the other duties of the Senate are carried forward.

And the results? Federal judge seats and ambassador positions remain empty for years at a time. People who have had the honor of being nominated for a position by the President sit in waiting, not knowing whether or not they will be changing jobs. The work of the government does not get done.

Fortunately, the Constitution provides a remedy -- one which this President has been loathe to use: recess appointments. The Constitution gives the right to the President to make judicial and ambassadorial appointments without the approval of the Senate at times when Congress is not in session.

Recess appointments are often pooh-poohed because they can fall into the category of "dirty tricks" -- an appointment can be made with no prior notice, railroading a nominee into position.

But this President has not done that -- he's played fair. Bolton was presented to the Senate five months ago. U.N. Ambassador is a key position -- one that should not be left vacant. But there are factions in the Senate that don't like Bolton. They weren't brave enough to take their concerns to a vote -- so they created a state of filibuster around Bolton, suspending him in political Limbo. The assumption was that, once again, the President would not exercise his Constitutional right to make a recess appointment.

That assumption was wrong, and it's about time. President Bush needs to put an end to this faux filibuster nonsense and start making recess appointments for all of the nominees he has presented to the Senate over the past 5½ years. I'm not saying he should start installing people that have not been discussed before, but certainly it's time to say "enough is enough" to the childish element in the Senate that has put the lives of so many people and the work of the United States judicial system on hold for so long.

Enjoy your recess, Mr. President.

Hummus!

2005-07-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

This was my lunch today from Diet-to-Go. It's one of my absolute favorites: Hummus with warmed pita bread, string cheese and citrus.

I love this stuff and had no idea until today what it is. According to Wikipedia, hummus is chickpea paste.

According to the Two Sheiks web-site, both Plato and Socrates wrote about the benefits of hummus.

Whatever it is, I like it -- even if it does look like a pile of glop.

Aswad?

2005-07-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

There is some kind of poetic justice in this: The Brits have now detained a man in Zambia who is suspected of being involved in last week's attempted bombings in London. The man's name is Jarum Rashid Aswad.

That's right, Aswad.

AHSS-wahd.

'nuff said.

UPDATE: Fox News is now spelling his last name "Aswat". I think my original comments still stand.

The All-Tevin Request Hour

2005-07-27T10:27:00.000-05:00

At Tevin's request, here's a photo of my current Xbox game collection.

With a single caveat, noted below, it represents the entire North American Xbox catalog as of July 25, 2005. (Two titles were released on July 26, that I won't have for a few days.)

It now just about fills the longboy cabinet I keep them in, with the games stacked three deep on the shelves. (The upper shelf has some styrofoam risers in it that let you see titles in all three rows. The lower shelf did not have enough height to do this, so they are just layered three deep.)

This collection may find a new home in my bedroom closet soon.

Caveats and miscellaneous info:

The Halo 2 Map Pack and Cold Fear were off visiting The Frozin One when this picture was taken.
About 30 of the games are not boxed, but are in paper GameStop DVD sleeves. (They were purchased used.)
There are a few duplicate titles:
- Halo 2 -- For LAN partying
- 007: Agent Under Fire -- Because the Platinum Hits version can't be used with the EvoX exploit. (I backup all my Xbox gamesave data to the home fileserver monthly.)
- Deathrow -- I received a second copy as a pre-order bonus with Breakdown.
- Motor Trend Presents: Lotus Challenge -- Faulty bookkeeping
- NHL 2002 -- Really faulty bookkeeping.
- The Hulk -- Because I was stupid.
- Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dawn of Destiny -- Because I can occasionally be really stupid.
Yes, there is a copy of Barbie Horse Adventures in there. And yes -- I've played it.
2/3 of the collection was purchased used from GameStop.com, EBGames.com and from people on eBay.
According to my Xbox gamesaves directory, I've played 271 of the games represented here.
There are about 60 titles that are still in the factory shrink-wrap.

Man, am I a geek...

Tevin also recently asked about the status of XboxRated.com. Well, he's a day or two ahead of me. There will be two new blogs coming online later this week that deal with XboxRated.com:

xbrdeveloper.blogspot.com -- This will be my developer blog, commenting on the daily struggle to get the web-site on-line. This blog will also provide a few sneak-preview links into the site to see what it's all about.
xboxrated.blogspot.com -- This will be mainly for public announcements regarding the site while it is in its infancy. Links to all new content posted on the site will be announced here. (This should be really nice for those of you using RSS or Atom feeds.)

Xbox Release Chart -- As of July 25, 2005

2005-07-25T12:59:00.000-05:00

I just created this chart and thought it was rather interesting. (Click to get the full-size chart in a separate window.) It shows the North American Xbox titles that have been released each year, grouped by month.

There are a couple of historical values that may be bogus, such as the four titles shown to be released before the Xbox came out, but the rest of the data appears to be reliable. Historical data starting around June 2004 is accurate to the day.

Note that there is some projected release data for the remainder of this year and on into 2006. In practice, about 3% of those titles never get released, and another 15-20% get pushed further out - usually by a margin of 1-6 months. (At this time last year, there were 48 titles slated for release in November 2004. As you can see on the chart, only 35 actually made the November time frame. Most of the delayed titles slipped into 2005.)

The projected dates were gathered from Gamestop.com and EBGames.com. Where the two websites disagree, I've used the Gamestop.com date, since I have found it to be the more reliable projection.

As of today, there have been 633 Xbox titles released in North America. (Excluding Platinum Hits reissues, but including the Halo 2 Map Pack.)

Now Playing: Red Dwarf Series 5

2005-07-21T18:40:00.000-05:00

Stan Lee: Resting on his laurels?

2005-07-21T17:37:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've lost a modicum of respect for Stan Lee.

I've never been much of a comic book aficionado, but I was an avid reader of the comics in the newspaper, and my favorite strip was Spider-Man. I loved the character, not so much for his exploits against arch-criminals, but for the very human Peter Parker, who was wracked with guilt over his Uncle Ben's death. And the infinitely patient MJ also always struck me as a heroic character -- if maybe a little self-absorbed.

I think it's the flaws in those protagonists that drew me to the strip on a daily basis. Spider-Man was a demonstration of Stan's brilliance as a storyteller.

But lately, Stan the Man has let me down.

First off, he is the reputed creator of the animated series "Stan Lee's Stripperella". The name says it all. This piece of tripe didn't even last a full season. I don't think any more comment is even required. Gack!

Then there was the 2004 G-Phoria incident: Stan Lee was brought in to present the Lifetime Achievement Award to Hideo Kojima. To my mind, this should have been an honor to both of them -- two very creative men meeting on stage.

Before the show, Stan was asked about his participation in the event. Loosely paraphasing him, he admitted that he had no idea who this "HID-ee-oh KO-jim-ah" guy was, but he was sure he must have done some good work.

My goodness, man! You could have at least done some research. And have a little respect: "HID-ee-oh KO-jim-ah"? It's "hee-DAY-oh koh-JEE-mah".

Adding insult to injury, when Stan presented the award, he once again mangled Kojima-san's name (you'd think someone would have coached him) and made the entire presentation with the overblown affect of a man who knows he's faking it, but tries to pull it off anyway.

He almost came off as arrogant -- as if he was the highlight of the ceremony and he couldn't be bothered to consider the man he was supposed to be honoring.

Since then, I've seen Stan in several recent interviews. And while he still comes across as a sweet man, his early grandeur has been sublimated. Is this really the creator of those characters who seemed so complex and real in my youth?

And his cameo in the Fantastic Four movie -- oh my gosh, how embarrassing was that? I mean, it's a sentimental tradition to have Stan cameo, and it's something I normally enjoy. But -- it's as if the cameo was an after-thought. "Hey, we forgot to put Stan's cameo in the script." "Well, we're shooting the lobby scene today, let's add ten seconds of footage and and get it over with."

I mean, for an otherwise well-written script, that one scene felt forced and could have been easily left on the editor's desk -- except that it was Mr. Lee's cameo.

Note to Hollywood: cameos should be incidental to the story. They should flow seamlessly with the on-screen action. Dropping them in like a slide from last year's vacation roll accidentally mixed in with this year's Christmas photos is just sloppy.

Stan Lee, I still think the world of you, man. But like the apocryphal emperor, your royal raimants have failed to accompany you of late.

So, am I officially a pariah now?

Sony sub-licences Unreal 3 engine for PS3 dev kit

2005-07-21T13:05:00.000-05:00

Sony is starting to play hardball now. Now the Unreal 3 engine will come standard with the PS3 development kit.

In a related story, Sony has also purchased SN Systems, makers of the ProDG integrated game development environment. This IDE will now also be a part of the standard PS3 development kit.

According to the second story, Sony has also inked deals with Havok and Aegis to include evaluation versions of their physics engines as part of the PS3 dev kit.

Girls In Prison

2005-07-20T15:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I'll be watching a movie whose plot line is so badly contrived that I can't decide if it was supposed to be camp, or is the result a bad script.

Such is the case for Girls In Prison, a made-for-cable-TV flick released in 1994. I watched this sucker last night and by the end had no idea if the screenwriter, director and producer were serious or were poking fun at prison movies.

And I'm afraid it's the former.

The crimes committed by the first two girls, Melba (Bahni Turpin) and Carol (a very sexy Ione Skye), are ridiculous. There's a Tarantino-esque feel to those scenes, but somehow they come off flat, as if the director was satirizing a B-rated 1950s slasher movie.

The principal character, Aggie O'Hanlon (Missy Crider) is an aspiring country singer who gets framed for murdering a record studio executive. The frame-up is accomplished by Jennifer (Anne Heche), a slutty, yet sultry office assistant. And that's no spoiler -- the plot for this turkey is as predictable as an empty quart of prune juice: you always know what's coming next.

To make things worse, the movie introduces a Hispanic detective, nicknamed Lucky (Miguel Sandoval), who conducts a bizarre, almost Quixotic investigation to prove Aggie's innocence.

In the movie's denouement, Jennifer makes a confession under duress while Aggie repeats each line of her confession over a bullhorn. This scene, probably more than any other, feels so contrived that I was honestly pitying the actresses involved.

Bottom line: This is a bad movie. And it is not even bad in a "can't take my eyes off of the train wreck" kind of way -- it's just a stinker. So, unless you are just desperate to see Ione Skye and Bahni Turpin making out in a prison shower, keep this version of Girls In Prison off of your NetFlix queue. It's a big waste of time.

Fortunately, I had the pleasure of watching The Shawshank Redemption immediately afterward. Now that is a prison movie worth watching.

Fooling the concert violinist

2005-07-20T13:09:00.000-05:00

This is one of those musician's moments.

I play a wind synthesizer (a Yamaha WX7, usually connected to a Yamaha VL1-m) in our church band on Sunday mornings. I mainly play emulative patches -- sounds that attempt to imitate non-electronic instruments, like saxes, trumpets, etc. Using a wind synth in this gig is ideal, since I never know what kind of wind instrument will be needed until I show up on Sunday morning -- and, more often than not, the charts call for instruments I don't play/don't have. So emulative synthesis fills the needs of this band.

The band is led by Rex, the lead guitarist and arranger for Disney On Ice. In addition to leading the band, he also writes music for the band to play during the greeting portion of the service. Typically, Rex's arrangements are hymns that have been written into a jazz, R&B or rock groove.

Two weeks ago, Rex pulled out an arrangement of "The Love of God" that he'd just put together. The chart had a very strong Count Basie feel and featured me playing a trumpet sound layered on top saxes (played by Shawn, our keyboard synth man, on a Kurzweil K2600.) Of course, having a Basie feel, there was a lot of piano filler by our pianist througout the piece.

This was a very tight swing chart, and by the second service, Shawn and I had gotten a super-tight sound. (This was achieved by my watching his hands as we played, ensuring that we articulated the music together.) I was really pleased with how it turned out and Rex was gushing afterward about how the tune sounded just like what he'd heard in his head when he'd arranged it.

Last week, we had a guest musician in the band -- a concert violinist who plays first violin with the Little Rock Symphony. Her parents go to our church and so she sits in with the band a few times a year. This gal can play. She gets an absolutely beautiful sound out of her violin, and was playing moderately difficult charts on the first read without a hitch.

Between services, she came up to me and introduced herself. She then immediately asked "were you the one playing the trumpet last week? I kept looking for the trumpet player until I figured out it was you. It sounded so real."

As an emulative synthesist, who has battled both the legit and synth-only camps of the musical community for years, that comment made my week.

When I can fool a symphony musician into looking for the trumpet player, I've done my job.

* smile *

Rhymes with James Dean

2005-07-18T22:55:00.000-05:00

Most of you are going to hate this post.

Because I'm about to tell you about three words that you always mis-pronounce.

And pronouncing them right will make you sound like a dork.

Before we get to these three words, I want to share a little theory on how they got so screwed up -- at least in the American English dialect.

Childhood.

That's it. It's what these three words have in common. All of the nouns I'll be discussing are words that have been familiar to children for 100 years. And all of them are words that, for the most part, went unused during their teens. So the pronunciation was never corrected from childhood and generations of people grew up mangling these poor words until the barbarian of Common Usage took over, making the mis-pronunciations the more common variant.

The first word is the most contentious, because the right way to say it sounds the worst to people who grew up hearing and saying it wrong.

Iodine.

The correct pronunciation: EYE-oh-deen.

Yes, "deen". Not "dyne".

I knew you wouldn't like it.

But this word, more so than the others, has the greatest need to be pronounced correctly. Iodine ("EYE-oh-deen", remember?) is an element, and all elements are classified according to certain basic properties on the Periodic Table of Elements. The arrangement of the table is based on the orbital characteristics of each element's electrons.

Before we consider Iodine itself, I want you to look at two other columns in the table. (Click the image to bring up a larger version in a separate window.)

You will notice that the first column is broken, with "H" (Hydrogen) separated from the rest. This is because Hydrogen has no proton particles. Now notice the names of the remaining elements in that column:

Li = Lithium - LITH-ee-um
Na = Sodium - SEW-dee-um
K = Potassium = poh-TASS-ee-um
Rb = Rubidium = ru-BID-ee-um
Cs = Cesium = SEE-zee-um
Fr = Francium = FRANS-ee-um

Note that they all end with "-ium" and the "ee-um" sound. The -ium suffix is an indication of the properties of the element. One additional property of all of these elements (including Hydrogen) is that they are all highly reactive.

Now, let's look at the last column. Again, note that He - Helium is set apart from the remainder of the column. These are all inert gasses. And their names:

Ne - Neon - NEE-on
Ar - Argon - ARE-gon
Kr - Krypton - CRYP-ton
Xe - Xenon - ZEE-non
Rn - Radon - RAY-don

These elemental gasses all end in "-on" and the "on" sound.

Now, let's look at our friend. He's in the next-to-the-last column -- the one labeled "17/VIIA". The elements are:

F - Flourine - FLOOR-een
Cl - Chlorine - KLOR-een
Br - Bromine - BRO-meen
I - Iodine - EYE-oh-deen
At - Astatine - ASS-tuh-teen (heh-heh... he wrote "ass")

Again, they all end with the same suffix "-ine" -- and it is pronounced "een".

Now, if you look up this word in Merriam-Webster OnLine, you will see that the correct, scientific pronunciation has been relegated to the third position. This is the result of common usage, where most people (incorrectly) say either "EYE-oh-dyne" or "EYE-oh-den".

Next up is a simple one: Licorice.

The correct, but now almost out of use, pronunciation is "LICK-uh-riss". Word-o-philes have a field day with this one.

The word comes from Middle English and is a direct transplant from French. The French still pronounce it "LICK-o-riss".

This, again, I blame on childhood. LICK-uh-riss is one of those words that is hard for young children to get their mouths around. So they often end up saying "LICK-ur-rish" or even "LICK-rish". Unfortunately, parents didn't correct the pronunciation and now generations of adults use the infantile "LICK-rish" pronunciation.

Why do word-o-philes have a field day? Because the French licorice comes from the Latin liquiritia, which does have the "ish" sound in it. But, this is, in my opinion, a wild hare, since the French version of the word has no such sound.

And finally, another word that has been beaten down by common usage: caramel.

This particular word has fared better than the other two, because the mispronunciations appear to be regional. The correct, but now less favored, pronunciation is CARE-uh-mel. The more typical, incorrect, pronunciation is CAR-muhl. Again I fly in the face of Common Usage by declaring it to be wrong in this case.

And again, I blame childhood.

But here, the Bible may come into play. There is a Mount Carmel in the Bible. That, combined with the difficulty some children may have had saying CARE-uh-mel, may explain the popularity of CAR-muhl.

What's really odd is looking at the definition of caramel in most dictionaries: they will all show the entry with three syllables, but will show pronunciations with only two.

Even worse is the derived word caramelize/caramelise. Here again, the entry will show four syllables, but the pronunciation keys provide a three syllable word in the primary (most used) position.

I will note that for English, Common Usage is the rule. And for that reason, I would grudgingly concede caramel and licorice. But with words whose pronunciation is related to their scientific properties, like iodine, I will contend that Common Usage does not and can not apply.

She's singing, Karl.

2005-07-15T12:01:00.000-05:00

Karl Rove, please, do the right thing.

You screwed up, man. Yeah, by the strictest sense of the law, you are innocent. But you confirmed the identity (yeah, we know you didn't user her name) of a covert CIA agent. And you did it at a time of war. To a reporter. That's a faux pas that can't be overlooked.

Yes, Joseph Williams is a pinhead with an agenda. We know he lied about his wife not being responsible for his getting the "Yellow-cake from Niger" assignment. We know his findings as reported to Congress contradicted his own filed report. Old Joey is a liar and a schmuck.

But none of that excuses your infringement of our national security -- no matter how pushy a broad Ambassador William's wife is.

Me? I'm still a true believer. There were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Hussein did have an on-going WMD program. And, as far as I have been able to determine, there were assorted chemical and biological weapons deployed on mobile platforms just days before the allied forces marched into Baghdad. In The Secrect History of the Iraq war, Yossef Bodansky, a man vehemently against the Iraq invasion, documents the existence and movement of WMDs shortly before the war began. (Bodansky names no sources, unfortunately, but why would someone so against the war work so hard to document the existence of the WMD threat?)

But whether or not there were WMDs in Iraq when the war began, whether or not Joe Williams is a putz, whether or not the lady Williams wears the pants in the family... Karl, ya done wrong.

She's singing the last stanza, Karl.

Get off the stage before you are left all alone out there with your knickers showing.

What a beauty!

2005-07-15T11:29:00.000-05:00

My Yamaha YTS-875B Tenor arrived late yesterday afternoon. Wow! Everything I wrote about the YBS-62 Bari applies. It's a wonderful instrument.

Like the YSS-875B Soprano, this one also has a black lacquer body, which shows off the keyworks and engraving so well. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Looks like it's time to get in the woodshed.

They're here! Well, two of 'em, anyway...

2005-07-13T17:58:00.000-05:00

Today my soprano and baritone saxes arrived. And they rock.

The bari arrived this morning -- while I was finishing up today's earlier blog entry.

I haven't played a bari sax since 1982, when I used one to double bassoon parts in a production of Evita. (Thanks, Dad, for reminding me of that.) After so many years, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to play it.

Let me tell you, this instrument, the Yamaha YBS-62 is so well-made, it was a dream to play, even with chops as stale as mine.

WARNING: The next paragraph is full of gushing musician-speak.

From the low A on the bottom of the instrument, all the way into the altissimo register, this horn plays easily and consistently. And the intonation across the instrument is incredible. Even with my wasted-away embouchure, this baby had an absolutely sweet tone -- not too bright, not too dark. The action in the keyworks is incredible. Without a doubt, this is the best bari sax I've ever played. Check that, it's the best sax of any type that I've ever played. It's that good.

The soprano arrived late this afternoon. It's a flat-out beautiful horn. As you can see in the photo above and in the detail photos at left, the body is coated with black lacquer, with the keyworks in shiny brass and the keys themselves topped with mother-of-perl. There is intricate scrollwork engraved into the bell. The engraving was cut through the black lacquer, which really shows it off. (The entire bell of the bari is also engraved, but the engraving doesn't photograph nearly as well.)

The soprano also plays beautifully, but was not as forgiving of my years of saxophone neglect. The upper octave plays fluidly and has absolutely clean intonation from D to A. Above A, I need to adjust my bite to keep things in tune, but not by much. Playing the instrument's middle C in the upper ocatave (all holes closed) also has a noticeable intonation difference, but again, it is easily compensated for in the embouchure. (For the unitiated, soprano saxophones are infamous for their intonation problems, which are an artifact of their short tube length and small bore. This horn has the best intonation of any soprano I've ever tried -- by far.) The lower register has very clean intonation all the way through. I am having some difficulty initiating low D, but I suspect that has more to do with my poor emboucure than any possible defect in the horn.

The tone is beautiful -- maybe even a touch on the dark side, which is a surprise, considering my prior experience with Yamaha horns.

For the most part, the horn almost feels like it's playing itself. The action is very fast and perfectly even. Overall, it's a superior quality horn. I'm very pleased.

Now I need to call Dennis and tell him I'm ready for some lessons.

And just think: the Tenor arrives tomorrow.

Kudos to my wife

2005-07-13T11:18:00.000-05:00

I've long been a fan of video and computer art. It's an area that I absolutely have no talent in. (I'm a fairly good amateur video editor, but I'm no artist.)

Enter my wife. (Oh grow up!)

"my wife" is the Xbox Live Gamertag of Adam Hilliker, who is, in my mind, a top-notch graphic artist. He is responsible for much of the sweet, minimalist look of Gamertag.com, including the design of the site's mascot and evil, world-dominating matriarch, Custard.

But where Adam excels, in my opinion, is in his video work. He is able to seamlessly blend video with kinetic graphic artwork. I love his use of massive amounts of text, monochromatics, and the highly technological feel that he infuses into his creations.

For a real treat, take a look at his "Broadcast Reel" -- a 3½ minute video resume of commercial projects Adam has done. It can be found at http://www.helfet.com/. Also on the site are a number of Macromedia Flash games that Adam created while learning about programming Flash.

Enjoy the site and if you appreciate his work, drop him an email. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Mis-used word of the week: Gender

2005-07-11T11:45:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. Welcome to my weekly rant about words. Yeah, words, darn it!

Today we feature a word that people use because they think they know what it means and because it sounds polite and educated.

Instead, they come off sounding like a bunch of dufi. (That's plural for "dufus". Have fun looking it up.)

Today's word is: gender. (Man, this is starting to sound like an episode of Sesame Street.)

The people who use this word incorrectly believe it is synonymous with sex. Sorry, Charlie -- it ain't.

Gender has two, and only two, appropriate meanings and contexts:

When talking about words that have feminine vs. masculine attributes, you use the word gender. While this mainly applies to languages derived from Latin, (e.g.: French, Spanish, Portuguese) there are a few examples in English. Her has a feminine gender, whereas Him has a masculine gender.

So words have gender. They do not have sex. (Though I'm sure some of you out there would like to watch them try.)
When referring to psychological, behavioral or cultural traits, it is acceptable to use the word gender in place of sex or sexual. So the phrase "gender identity" is perfectly acceptable, since it is a reference to a set of psychological traits.

Using gender in any other context is wrong.

The most blatant example of this error is on those probing forms that you fill out when applying for insurance. So often, there is a box that says "Gender: _ Male _ Female". Wrong-o. That box should read "Sex: _ Male _ Female".

I've heard people talking to pregnant women asking them what the "gender of the child" will be. How the heck is she supposed to know? According to the sonogram, the sex of the child is female, but hey, maybe she's going to be a tomboy in twelve years. Who can know about gender, eh?

The other common example that irks me is in electronics. There are male and female connections of all kinds in the electronics world. Those connectors have SEX, not GENDER, people! (Yes, I've seen a few dweebs in white coats get all excited over that, too. Immature little putzes.) As cute as the name "Gender Mender" is, it is just plain inappropriate usage. (To make things worse, I once saw a product in a catalog that was proudly dubbed "Gendar Mender" -- that was just pathetic.)

So, friends, let's get this one right. There is nothing wrong or impolite or inappropriate about the word sex. Use it with confidence when the situation warrants.

Next week we'll delve into the pronunciation of iodine and caramel. Hoo-boy, won't that be exciting?

Justice Out.

P.S.: My sex is Male.

Really, Mom, I'm Okay

2005-07-09T21:30:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one?

I mean, seriously. I know some of you are just as guilty as I am.

When given a choice between playing a male or female character in a video game, I will always pick the hot chick over the dude.

And the reason is simple: If I'm going to spend 40+ hours watching someone's butt as I manipulate them through a game, I'd prefer it to be a female butt -- and female legs -- and female... well, you get the idea.

This leads to two problems:

In this psycho-analytical society of ours, an observer might jump to the conclusion that I choose female characters because I identify with the female mind better than the male. They will assume that I'm choosing an avatar more in line with my innermost self-image -- a digital doll that I can festoon in frocks, frills and braids.

Try again, Sherlock. She's a buxom babe and I'd rather watch her jiggle her stuff than some hunk of man-meat. My "problem", if you want to classify it as that, is one of mild prurience, not sexual identity.
On-line play. In games like Microsoft Links 2004 or Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005, the sex of the character you choose is permanent. In both games, there is an RPG aspect where it takes many hours of off-line play to develop your character's skills -- hours totaling often into the triple digits. So, naturally, I choose to create a female character since I plan on spending a number of weeks playing the game.

Now picture this: I go on-line with this character that I've carefully trained and crafted. But I'm a guy... with a svelte babe as an avatar. I can't see my opponents' faces, but I can hear the look that's coming over my headset. The look that says "you're a little off your nut, now, aren't you?"

Somehow, I get equated with those weirdos who prey on children by going into chat rooms and pretending to be a 13 year old girl. (Little do they know that the "14 year old girl" they are chatting with is also a 53 year old, 350 pound man wearing a teddy.)

Unlike those perverts, I'm not masquerading. I'll tell you up front "I'm a guy who prefers to stare at women instead of men, okay? Deal with it."

And yeah, I'm wearing pants.

So be forewarned, if you want to play online with me on a game that has a developable character, she will be the busty, red-headed Valkyrie in a leather corset and go-go boots with legs that go all the way up.

And if you are a guy, I dare you not to stare at her during the match.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go play a Real Time Event in Tiger Woods... I'm pretty sure this one unlocks those green capri pants my character has had her eye on...

The Dilemma

2005-07-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

I have a real bad habit.

When it comes to new technology, I tend to be in the group of early adopters -- people who buy a product as soon as it is introduced.

Now, I'm not your typical technology lemming. For example, I don't have an iPod and have a very limited desire to own one.

But when it comes to technology that I have a real interest or use for, I go in, gung-ho, on day 1.

The Yamaha WX7 is a good example. I plunked down a 50% deposit on that puppy the day that the product was announced -- a full six months before it would be available for purchase. In that case, I was fortunate: the product was well-developed and has served me faithfully for over 18 years.

More germane to where I'm going with this, in 1996, I bought one of the first US Robotics Pilot 1000 handheld computers. In a matter of hours, it had replaced the leather-bound Dayrunner that I'd been carrying around for years. All of my contacts and appointments were immediately accessible in a unit that I could carry in my pocket. And -- bonus -- you could play games on it as well.

3Com bought US Robotics and created the Palm division to continue the Pilot line. Soon after the acquisition, they delivered a set of sleeker, sexier, more powerful handhelds. My Pilot 1000 was beginning to seriously show its age at that point. (It was nicknamed "Ziggy", after the computer in Quantum Leap, whose hand-held unit needed a good slap every once in a while to get it working.)

When the Palm Pilot 5x was introduced, I bought one, transferring all of my precious data from the aging Pilot 1000.

This was about the same time that the PCS cell phone was becoming affordable, and for some time I was carrying around a cell phone and the Palm 5x. I soon began wondering when a hybrid device would become available, combining the Palm OS with a cell phone.

Within a week of the death of my cell phone, Samsung introduced the SPH-i300, a Palm driven device integrated into a cell phone. Early adopter that I am, I immediately bought the SPH-i300. I put my Palm 5x into retirement and moved everything to the Samsung, in a technophilic rapture of having my PDA and phone integrated. All was well for a couple of years as I gleefully ignored the hybrid PDA market.

Until THE DROP.

One day, two years ago, as I was getting out of my car, the SPH-i300 fell out of my shirt pocket and onto the asphalt. The impact was a bad one that shattered the liquid crystals inside the LCD screen.

Suddenly, I was once again in the market for a hybrid device.

As fate would have it, that very week HandSpring (soon to be purchased by Palm) was releasing the Trēo 600 for Sprint's network. As a Sprint subscriber, I was desperate to become an early technology adopter once again. After canvassing no less than six Sprint stores across Southern California, I finally found one. (Apparently, I'm not alone in this early adopter mind-set. For almost two months following my purchase, stores could not keep Trēo 600s in stock.)

My 600 looked just like that picture to the right, until it too experienced a DROP. Fortunately, this time the unit was under warranty and palmOne was happy to trade my broken 600 for a refurbished unit. The new phone now sports a palmOne logo in place of the HandSpring somersaulting man icon.

Now, the 600 has a lot of great features: a fairly fast processor, a bright screen, upgradeable Palm 5 O/S, PCS Vision support, a keyboard that even my large thumbs can operate easily, a VGA camera and a host of other nice features.

But it lacks one thing that keeps me itching: Bluetooth. That little wireless technology that allows you to easily create short-distance communication channels between various devices. In my case, the device I want to connect is a Jabra FreeSpeak headset. I have one that I use with my Trēo 600, but I have to hang this clunky Bluetooth receiver off the bottom of my phone and, frankly, it takes all the fun out of having a wireless headset.

And so now I have the dilemma: the Trēo 650.

This update to the 600 came out several months ago and it features a faster processor, a high resolution screen (4 times the resolution of the 600), an easier to use keyboard and built-in Bluetooth.

The technophile in me has been screaming lately to trade in my 600 for a 650, but the economist (who was obviously repressed last Wednesday) keeps telling me that I'm only going to get $100 for the trade-in and I really won't get any real value out of the $400+ that it would cost to upgrade.

So far, sanity and economy are winning valiantly in this struggle.

But there's an evil little thought that keeps popping in, hoping for yet another DROP.

Oops!

Who mourns for Spring?

2005-07-08T18:42:00.000-05:00

No, not the season.

I'm talking about the new character that was supposed to be in Hypnotix's Outlaw Golf 2. I distinctly remember advertisements touting that OG2 would feature "a new character, Spring, Summer's younger (and hotter) sister." Summer, pictured at right, is Outlaw Golf's stripper with a PhD. (I'm not sure what her doctorate is in, but I'm guessing it has something to do with anatomy. )

I thought of this as I was playing the game last night. I was running through Tour Mode attempting to unlock the final character (Harvest), when I realized I'd never seen Spring anywhere in the game. I even checked to see if she could be downloaded on Xbox Live, but, alas, there was no downloadable content available.

Wha-hoppen?

I know that Hypnotix went through some difficulties when their publisher, Simon & Schuster, decided to get out of the game business last year, but how did Spring get lost in the shuffle? Did the new publisher, Global Star, give her the boot? Or has Hypnotix totally lost track of quality control? (Their web-site struggles to keep up to date, still listing OG2 in the "Coming Soon" category, even though the game was released nine months ago.)

Whatever the reason, it appears that poor Spring has suffered a digital stillbirth, never to revel in the stardom for which she was destined.

So who mourns for Spring?

I do.

This tear's for you, kiddo.

Blame it on G-flat

2005-07-08T15:05:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, July 6, 2005 may mark the day that I began my inexorable spiral into dementia. Either that or I'm exhibiting mid-life crisis with a rather unusual set of symptoms.

I bought three saxophones over the Internet.

Yes, three.

a Yamaha YBS-62 Baritone;

a Yamaha YTS-875B Custom Tenor with a black lacquer finish;

and a Yamaha YSS-875B Custom Soprano with a black lacquer finish.

And now I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas: I can't wait for these horns to arrive.

I've never owned a real saxophone. (There's a crusty old 1930s-vintage C melody tenor that I bought from a high school friend for $65, but that hardly counts. It had no recognizable branding and leaked worse than Starr Jones on a diuretic. I ended up leaving it behind in my townhouse when I moved to Tennessee in February. Maybe the new owners of the townhouse can make a nice lamp out of it.) In high school and college, I always used school instruments. So the prospect of now having not one, but three professional quality horns has me almost giddy.

Okay, so I'm full-on giddy -- and that's not a pretty state for a man of my years and presumed dignity.

"So, " I hear you asking, "how did this all come about?"

I blame the key of G-flat.

I play wind synthesizer in our church praise band on Sunday mornings. With the exception of myself, this is a group of pro musicians. The band leader, Rex, plays guitar and writes all of the arrangements for Disney on Ice. Our pianist can play just about anything you throw at him on the first attempt. I'm the only exception: a horn-playing hack who rarely practices and just manages to get by.

The band runs through the morning's music on Sunday mornings, about a half hour before the first service. This past Sunday, Rex pulled out a chart he'd arranged: a straight-ahead blues version of "God Bless America." I looked at the chart and saw that it starts in the key of F -- no big deal. But toward the end, the music modulates.

To G-flat.

For a horn player, G-flat is evil. Every note, except F, is flat. Even C is flat, which is insane, since C-flat is really B, which is just confusing.

I stared at it for a second, and was honest. "Rex, just beware that I might freak out at the key change."

Rex seemed unconcerned as he counted off the tempo.

Well, I survived the key change. It was in no way a great solo -- I just hung on to the notes that I knew were safe and prayed for the double bar to show up as soon as possible.

I followed the same formula for the services -- not embarrassing myself, but certainly not playing anything I'd want to ever listen to again.

I began thinking that it is finally time for me to get serious about learning my chord and improvisation theory if I don't want to go through another experience like that.

The next day, July 4^th, I started seriously thinking about taking classes at the Nashville Jazz Workshop. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mother, of all people, said that she wished I'd start playing saxophone again. I was actually thinking the same thing, but knew that saxophones are not a trivial purchase, but it was nice to have my mother not only endorsing, but presenting the idea that I should buy a sax.

So the next day I went in search of the NJW. It's in the old industrial section of Nashville, along the waterfront. Most of the buildings in the area are condemned factories, many with no walls. The NJW itself is in the old Neuhoff meat-packing plant. Outside, it's an old brick factory building with a bit of character, surrounded by the crumbling remains of its former competitors. Inside, it's a hipster's dream, with artistic lighting and jazz-related artwork scattered around.

I had a chance to meet with the founders, Lori Mechem and Roger Spencer. I told them what I hoped to gain from attending NJW and was given a list of courses that would be appropriate. Roger also suggested I get in touch with a private teacher, Dennis Solee, to sharpen up my sax chops after such a long hiatus. Roger told me that Dennis would also be my best contact for finding a new axe.

On Wednesday, I hooked up with Dennis on the phone and we had a great conversation. It turns out that he also has played wind synths in the past, a Lyricon and a Yamaha WX7, but lost both of them in a fire last year. (I have two WX7s, a broken Lyricon II, and a Yamaha WX5.) He also is a big fan of Yamaha saxophones, which, while surprising, was in line with my impressions of Yamaha instruments from 20+ years ago. I always like the way that the Yamaha horns felt under my fingers and the solid "blow-through" -- you felt like your breath was actually doing something as it passed through the instrument.

I did have a concern that Yamaha horns were infamous for being too bright sounding for "legit" playing, but apparently that has changed. In fact, according to Dennis, the YTS-875 Custom has a sound that is often considered on the verge of being too dark!

Dennis suggested that I should spend a couple of weeks searching for horns on the Web, where I would have a better selection and would likely get a better deal than any brick and mortar dealer in the Nashville area. Plus, it turns out most on-line instrument dealers, including many of those on eBay, have a "try and return" policy, where you can audition an instrument for 30-45 days and return it for a full refund if you don't like it.

So I began my research, but I had a real dilemma: do I get a bari, a tenor or a soprano? (I've never really enjoyed playing alto, for some odd reason.) The more research I did, the more I was tempted to get all three.

And unto temptation I did yield.

So here I am, giddy as a Japanese schoolgirl before a Takuya Kimura film, waiting for my three Ferraris, er, saxes to arrive sometime next week.

Oh, my poor neighbors...